Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Being Available

What am I working on now? Nothing I guess. I see myself sensing the body. And watching my breath. Then a certain staying during emotional upheaval.

I can see more and more clearly that there is another world under this veil. That keeps mysteriously operating behind the scenes. Where co-incidences are no so accidental. Signs are everywhere. One could even go schizophrenic imaging things, retro-fitting patterns to suit one's theories, phone calls from people one was thinking about, mails and phones not working when one is trying to reach someone. There is then this aspect of responding to them. Mostly by not trying anything.

This is truly that one learnt from this work period. A direction. To be available. That would be my new Aim. How does one be available? To what? And for what action?

Right now, how can I be available vis-a-vis the body? By just experiencing the sensation of its presence and weight on my being? By  traveling with the breath and following its course? By not giving into the  associative response of the body from deep rooted habits planted into it? By  emptying  my emotional  stress out of the body so its free of me and is back to being purely a planetary receptacle for the spirit? Then what does the body receive?

Or for the mind, does being available mean to just hear someone without comments, judgment and one;s own associative thoughts? To just receive the sounds and meanings like rain falling on leaves? I have sometimes experienced that when one does this, a deep insight emerges sometimes. As a fruit of the effort of being available.

And emotions ? How can one be available vis-a-vis emotions? they dont seem to need our permission to roam about wherever they wish in our presences. What is the practice of being available for emotions? Is it just being in a temple or participating in movements and music? Is there something in daily life? Is it about destroying any arising of sentimentality like weeds from a field of wheat?
How can i be available for higher emotions without creating an artificiality or process about it? How different is it from making the body or the mind available?

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