From Ramana - just abida in the Self

I must remember and remind myself the following 

(a) The default state is the Self (or abiding in the Self) and the mind is the impermanent manifestation that comes and goes. We are already complete and perfect. 

(b) That the H is a fiction created by the mind. Its stupid to now live on that basis and shift base to Self.

Ramana: You are perfect and complete, so abandon the idea of incompleteness. There is nothing to be destroyed. Ahankara, the individual "I", is not a real thing. It is the mind that makes the effort and the mind is not real. Just as it is not necessary to kill a rope that one imagines to be a snake, so also there is no need to kill the mind. Knowing the form of the mind makes the mind disappear. That which is forever non-existent is already removed.

On Practice of Directly engaging with experience bypassing the mind

Read a few lines from Ekhardt Tolle and it provided a help to work with emotions.

Emotions can be experienced in the body so one can bring direct experience of awareness with the emotions through the body. This also prevents self image based emotional experiecing of joy and sorrow that gives a "personal" experience as against the objective experience.

I have seen that even mental activities like typing right now can be done directly through awarness and bypass the intellectual centre . The awarness gives you impulses of ideas so one does not have to go to the intellectual centre.
I have to practice more and more speaking directly through awareness and listening directly without personality.

But the most valuable thing from what was received from Ekhardt Tolle was that this state of being in the IAM is a simple state which is our default state. We make a such a big deal about enlightenment but it is infact a normal state and not to be considered a big achievement - which was creating issues for me. I should remain simple and normal about it because it is so.

Chronicles of Saturn in the First House 11

Speaking the Truth (since now there is no H to be protected by the lies)
Operating through awareness directly - speaking, listening, sensation of the body while sitting, bathing eating, listening to outside sounds. Direct means there is only awarness and the body. THe "person" should be eliminated

It is a process post death - great help from the following reading that just came up to me. It was from  a paper submitted at the All and Everything conference.

" When I experience "waking up" there is a new dimension to what is seen, a sense of depth, awareness of being aware. We do not know ahead of time when we will wake up in a moment. That is certainly something unexpected creating a hole in the moment. Something new has appeared something that sees outside of Time, bringing with it new potential. Here is a true crossroad. There is danger in that moment. I can become identified with the experience of 'bring there' and fall back to sleep imaginging I am awake. 
I can take credit for my "progress" and exalt my spiritual attaintment thus unwittingly feeding the ego instead.
Or I can thank the Work and suffer consciously, the tension between the inner and the outer. The choice is to intentionally risk manifestation, or, suffer the manifestation in progress. I either case, I watch as it enteres the 'world' and wait to discover the results.
I feel reminded of Gurdjieff's statement" Only he can have his own initiative for perceptions and manifestations in whose common presences there has been formed, in an independant and intentional manner  the totality of factors necessary for the functioning of this third world "


I need to nurture this NOT allow manifestation of old personality and suffer its death throes till I am sure it is fully dead with no remnants.
My prayer to Lord Shani.

Another quote coming a few sentences later

" When I Remember Myself, when the experience of I AM appears awareness of awareness I find myself outside of linear time. There exist new possibilities not available a moment prior. I see in that moment that the Work  is not in the future of Time but is right here, right Now, at all times.

Just above me is a world out of Time where what I had hoped to find someday in the futrue, is waiting for me NOW.

I need to stay in the I AM - at all times. Live and rest in my Being - because all else is dead or imaginary .

Chronicles of Saturn in First House 10 - small door opened

This happened on 21st of December. I suddenly saw the H (my name) was a complete work of fiction. A lie created diligently by my intellectual centre.  This imaginary character was sad, happy, angry and so on. And every moment the intellectual centre reinforces this lie.

There is this hollow body inside which no body is there. And there is awareness. Till now this lie was coming in between the awareness and this hollow body. Now I need to watch this lie each time it appears as a go between. Otherwise all experiences must be directly experienced by the awareness and the awareness is recognised by the experiencing.
Life will resolve itself. As said by Maharaj When effort is needed it will happen by itself when effortlessness is required it will assert itself. The human body will traverse through its destiny  and the awareness will experience this destiny.

This by the grace of Saturn and the compassionate almighty  a small door has opened - I need to now stay with this. continue staying in the I AM and experience the Awareness with the body - sounds, tastes etc
Then each time I interact with people I watch for H to make its appearance - H is dead. I need to inform H that. Each time the mind will try to resurrect H and I think over time the mind will understand and accept.

Chronicles of Saturn in the First House 9

It is important to constantly stay in presence or being. When the attention comes down, we are drawn back to the mind - we come back to being a Person. When we are not persons but jut pure Awarness. I need to keep reminding myself that I am not a person and catch myself when I am. Person is bound by time and death. And the person is imagination. Its hillarious how we believe something that has been created by the mind. and served to us each time.

Mooji today unlocked for me the Essence of Seeing and the doors are open for me now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyvO6sR5nys

When you initially begin to watch from a place of identity…everything has a weight, substance, meaning

But as you pay attention without interfering, just looking the energy stays with you ..and it begins to register ITSELF.. NOT THE THINGS APPEARING…you REGISTER YOUR OWN PRESENCE ..YOU BECOME AWARE OF YOUR OWN PRESENCE.

Then you seem to have less interest in the visitors(objects of perception) so your power to remain in your meditative state naturally will stay

This is the heart of seeing. Mooji may god bless you. You speak to me direct.

Thank you Shani for you speak through all teachers.

Chronicles of Saturn in First House 8

Today again I got reminders from the Cosmos to be in the I AM. My right side breathing had reduced with the change in practice of being aware of awareness by being aware of the framework within which the sensation of the body happens, the bed of awareness on which the sounds fall or the visuals falls.
I will continue to do both now. Even be aware of the impulse that is getting these words typed. Return to that breath as an anchor yet remember to be aware of my Existence breathing in the energy from the air and surrendering as I exhale depositing the material all around the body.

One of the helpful reminders I did get today was a quote from Maharaj

"Tirelessly I draw your attention to the one inconvertible factor - that of being. Being needs no proofs - it proves itself. If only you go deep into the fact of being and discover the vastness and the glory, to which " I AM " is the door and cross the door and go beyond, your life will be full of hapiness and light. Believe me, the effort needed is nothing when compared with the discoveries arrived at.

Chronicles of Saturn in the First House 7

Today was an interesting day because suddenly during the day I could get a sense that Awareness is the screen on which everything is projected. The things I see, the words I speak or hear, the thoughts, feelings...all these have a bed on which they rest. So I need to be constantly aware of that "on which all this rests". I did have an amazing experience listening to someone speak as the words fell on the bed..and my own thoughts on the bed ..and I also for a flash felt as it it was a common bed..the bed from where his words emerged and where it fell on my ears and my resultant thoughts.

Of couse during the day I was quickly brought back to my senses because of a crisis and I immediately saw how identified I was and how deep the identifications are rooted.

But then Nisargadatta Maharaj said that there will be frustrations and suffering but I need to persist - but now I have a new thing to keep an attention on the bed on which everything falls and from where everything rises.

Chronicles of Saturn in the First House - 6

The 6th chronicle is beng written and Saturn has not yet arrived in the first house ! Must be house keeping.

Meanwhile here's the practice that I seem to be clinging to desperately.

I AM practice. To sense I am.

I have got so much help from Mooji and then today heard an amazing Sohra channelling that further assisted me. The broad fundas of the practice is as under :

1. I sense I AM in the Heart.
2. THe idea is the I am Pure Awareness. But I cannot experience it.
3. Nisargadatta and Mooji both say that if I abide in the I AM over a period I will be free of the lowerI where I am stuck and be free from the lower I.
4. I need to be persistent.
5. Sohra/William Bagley said that observing and witnessing that it is the lower I that is worrying, angry, insecure will free us of the I. When we identify with it, we give it the strenght of our consciousness - but when we stop doing that it will fall away. (This is so Amazing) SO I NEED TO CONSTANTLY ASK - WHO IS GETTING ANGRY? WHY IS WORRIED etc etc. Just like Ramana exhorts.
6. Sohra also gave me  an amazing HELP in my I AM breathing. That with Inhalation I take in the energy in the atmosphere and with Exhalation I give in to more and more surrender - this is such a powerful and helpful guide. I can exhale and also deposit all the energy all around the body and also get a sensation of the body as I surrender and relax.

Thank you Saturn for these teaching are coming from Saturn to anhillate my identity.

Chronicles of Saturn in First House - 5

A fundemental shift yesterday after going through another dark phase. Searched for I AM practice on You Tube for some unknown reason and found this by Mooji which was exactly what I needed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHfuQRvNyiA
Mysterious are the ways of the universe - it is as if it guides and helps.

I am so scared of death that I am literally clinging to the I AM which is immortal.

The shift is really that now my practice is about "Resting my mind in the I AM . Staying in I AM as much as possible. Mooi says resting your attention all the time in the TIME IN THE  I AM
He also says it is the Original feeling of  one's Existence.

I also read Nisargdatta who of course says the same thing. He also said that life operates in its own order. The body is "a" body for him. The practice for I AM is staying with the I AM and each time one experiences something - asking WHO is experiencing this? THen also being PERSISTENT.

This way there will be a gradual separation between the fake I and the true I

Very heartening to hear Mooji say - If one inquires hard one finds that there is really no :I. We are the supreme reality and why then get afraid of an illusory belief that I am this body and everything will end in death. Nisargadatta says I am already dead.

I also feel that this impulse of staying with I AM is also willed by Saturn and with its blessings and guidance only can I remain in I AM . Otherwise the forces of sleep are so strong. I need to constantly remind myself that I am dying so I can return to I AM.

Chronicles of Saturn in First House - 4

The underlying fear of death is more real than ever before. I therefore cling to life. To breathe in I AM. I try to sense what is it TO BE ALIVE. What is born will die so I have to go and live the REAL LIFE. I dont know how to get there but Nisargadatta Maharaj says Be Tenacious and Persistent. Stay in the I AM.