sufi story

there is this beautiful sufi story about this sufi saint who asks a girl carrying a lamp

"Where did this fire come from?"

THe girl quickly blows out the lamp and says

"Where did this fire go "

Sometimes one can experience even for a fleeting second an Existence through the body. The golden sunshine as tho its like a chemical reaction under the skin of the head and then this whole world with its colours and sounds. As tho pure awareness entrered the body thru some portal..like being in an bioscope peering thru the hole

BREATHING

With Each InBreathing, I go back to the Source and Touch it.

Oh this is so Sacred. To touch the Source each time I breathe in. Oh God.

Our Universe within us

Read something astounding.. by Molly Tamulevich
(www. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/215)

Developed by neuropsychologist Karl Pribram, and quantum physicist David Bohm,
the holographic theory explains the universe as a series of complex waves, and the
brain as a means of deconstructing those waves into recognizable patterns. Using the
Fourier theorem [1] they realized that the combination of wave frequencies form
interference patterns in the brain and create new holographic patterns. This
is why a certain smell or sound can bring up memories that seem unrelated;
at one point in the past, they may have been perceived at the same time.

A holograph is an image that has the unique property of containing the
entirety of the image in each piece. If I were to cut a tiny piece of
holographic film off from the whole, it would still contain the whole image
but in a blurrier form. A holograph is formed by superimposing two different
light beams. It is a three dimensional projection of an object caught in the light.
It can store an incredible amount of information and holographic technology
is being used to exponentially increase the memory capability of computers.
According to Pribram, interference patterns caused by the clashing Fourier
waves in the universe converge through the lenses of our various senses,
causing a three dimensional representation of our perceptions.
[2] We are, according to Pribram, living in a giant hologram. If our brain has
holographic capabilities, it would not only explain how it can hold so much
information, but also shed light on experiments carried out by Karl Lashley
in which he concluded that memories were not stored in one part of the brain
but distributed throughout it. Lashley extensively removed or damaged the brains
of rats trying to locate the area in which they stored memories, but no matter
where he experimented, they continued to perform learned tasks. This supports
the idea that memories are holographic in that they are stored throughout the
brain, not just in one location.
Conditions such as synesthesia also support the holographic model.
If someone is able to taste words or attribute personalities to days of
the week, it is likely that inputs to the brain are being interpreted through
a different lens than those of non-synaesthetic individuals. It could be
that the ears or eyes of someone with synesthesia are equipped to read
inputs that most people block out. What would it be like to interpret the
waves around us more fully? We can feel the sun and see the sun, but what
if we were able to taste and hear the sun? It’s not that the waves are not

reaching our tongues and ears, we either don’t have the receptors to interpret
them or they are the wrong length for the receptors we do have.
Michael Talbot’s book, “The Holographic Universe” explains away dozens of
unexplained phenomenon using the holographic theory, and it is in this real
world application that the theory gets controversial [3].
If all memories are contained within all parts of the brain, what is to say
that the image of the whole universe is not contained in each part of the brain???

Our Universe within us

Read something astounding.. by Molly Tamulevich (www. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/215)

Developed by neuropsychologist Karl Pribram, and quantum physicist David Bohm,
the holographic theory explains the universe as a series of complex waves, and the
brain as a means of deconstructing those waves into recognizable patterns. Using the
Fourier theorem [1] they realized that the combination of wave frequencies form
interference patterns in the brain and create new holographic patterns. This
is why a certain smell or sound can bring up memories that seem unrelated;
at one point in the past, they may have been perceived at the same time.

A holograph is an image that has the unique property of containing the
entirety of the image in each piece. If I were to cut a tiny piece of
holographic film off from the whole, it would still contain the whole image
but in a blurrier form. A holograph is formed by superimposing two different
light beams. It is a three dimensional projection of an object caught in the light.
It can store an incredible amount of information and holographic technology
is being used to exponentially increase the memory capability of computers.
According to Pribram, interference patterns caused by the clashing Fourier
waves in the universe converge through the lenses of our various senses,
causing a three dimensional representation of our perceptions.
[2] We are, according to Pribram, living in a giant hologram. If our brain has
holographic capabilities, it would not only explain how it can hold so much
information, but also shed light on experiments carried out by Karl Lashley
in which he concluded that memories were not stored in one part of the brain
but distributed throughout it. Lashley extensively removed or damaged the brains
of rats trying to locate the area in which they stored memories, but no matter
where he experimented, they continued to perform learned tasks. This supports
the idea that memories are holographic in that they are stored throughout the
brain, not just in one location.
Conditions such as synesthesia also support the holographic model.
If someone is able to taste words or attribute personalities to days of
the week, it is likely that inputs to the brain are being interpreted through
a different lens than those of non-synaesthetic individuals. It could be
that the ears or eyes of someone with synesthesia are equipped to read
inputs that most people block out. What would it be like to interpret the
waves around us more fully? We can feel the sun and see the sun, but what
if we were able to taste and hear the sun? It’s not that the waves are not

reaching our tongues and ears, we either don’t have the receptors to interpret
them or they are the wrong length for the receptors we do have.
Michael Talbot’s book, “The Holographic Universe” explains away dozens of
unexplained phenomenon using the holographic theory, and it is in this real
world application that the theory gets controversial [3].
If all memories are contained within all parts of the brain, what is to say
that the image of the whole universe is not contained in each part of the brain???

death

“What is death? Moving awareness away from a particular time or place makes that particular
time or place die. Lack of awareness is death. It's like sleeping.
The process of death is not unfamiliar to me. I can be aware of my foot. Now, I can be aware of
my hand. When I am aware of my foot, I am not aware of my hand, I don't know if it was there.
Next moment when I become aware of it, it came ito being. Birth and death, these are continuously
happening every moment. They are painless. I cannot be afraid of birth.”
This is a significant quote by Amritananda.

I am dead most of the time except when Im aware I exist. The physical body seems to be only a
conduit thru which impressions come and responses go using the senses. I need to be feel alive
only then im alive.

I need to experience complete death before the destruction of this physical body. Im aware that
I have access to this body for a limited period of time and I need to use that to experience
existence without the physical body. As a pure awareness. Wonder if pure awareness can
continue to exist without breathing.

Sacrifice

RigVeda says " This sacrifice is the navel of the Universe".

Our navel is where we get sustenance from our mother when we are in her womb. So a sacrifice is what sustains the Universe, its baby. Without sacrifice the universe will die of starvation, it appears.

All powers to Sacrifice through Sacrifice – Yajurveda

All this, whatever exists is made to share through sacrifice - Rig Veda

So what is sacrifice? What is needed of us in this chain of sacrifice ?


The Wiki says "By sacrifice in the real sense is universally understood the offering of a sense-perceptible gift to the Deity as an outward manifestation of our veneration for Him and with the object of attaining communion with Him. Strictly speaking however, this offering does not become a sacrifice until a real change has been effected in the visible gift (e. g. by slaying it, shedding its blood. burning it, or pouring it out). "

Sacrifice is an action that creates.

The gods sacrificed with the sacrifice to the sacrifice…Rig veda

Sacrifice everywhere

Origin of Sacrifice - sacrum + facere - To make sacred.

Aurobindo says - But the highest only only comes when the sacrifice is no longer to the gods but to the one all-pervading Divine established in the sacrifice, of which the Gods are only inferior forms and when he puts away the lower self that desires and enjoys and gives up his personal sense of being a Worker to the true executrix of the Works, Prakriti and his personal sense of being the enjoyer to the Divine Purusha, the higher and universal Self who is the real enjoyer of the Works of Prakriti.
......The fire agni is no material flame, but brahmagni, the fire of the Brahman...inner Agni, preist of sacrifice into which sacrifice offering is poured..the fire is self-control or its a purified sense-action or it is the vital energy in that discipline of the control of the vital being though the control of breath...or it is the fire of self knowledge, the flame of the supreme sacrifice.

Sacrifice is an exchange of substances between Levels - both within ourselves and the outside.

So what is My Sacrifice? How do I participate in this cosmic cycle Consciously? In any case Im probably doing it unconsciously.
What is my sacrifice..what is created with my sacrifice?

Two universes

So is the body the dividing line between the inside and the outside? what we refer to as inside including our thoughts as that which is under the skin and external world is what our senses perceive?
If however one were to go with the notion that one is pure awareness and that this body is actually created by the awareness and further that this body is one of the elements in the field of this awareness along with many other elements then one will have to have a different dividing line between what is inside and outside – because the fact is that we do experience inside and outside.

One possible division of spaces could be the division between the Ego or the Personality and that of the Self or Pure awareness. If we are a collection of energy field then this energy sometimes settles at the level of the Ego that leads to turning thoughts, and all the internal activities that are driven by the Ego. And then when the energy rises to a level higher than the Ego, then there are moments of insights, joy and compassion.

Even the notion of “me” – is probably a point in the universe of the Ego.

The pull will always be between these two universes – of the Ego and of the Self and the struggle of this energy field that I call my common presence or “me” – is to constantly engage with the universe of the Ego by keeping a simultaneous connection with the universe of the Self.

ze body

It appears that the body and the senses are a kind of device or intermediate that allows us to
experience the world
; its tastes, its passions, its pains, its smells. As though this body is like a binocular through
which I can see the world and engage with it. What then is the right relationship between
me and the body.
There is atfirst a sense of gratitude – for this body is a bridge that allows these
myriad of experiences. As though this body is a special organ that bring these
impressions from the planet earth to us.
How does the body relate to me in my overall sphere of attention? This has been a difficult
exploration because sometimes the vantage point of awareness is from inside the body and
sometime the vantage point of awarenss is from the outside.
I see that firstly recognizing and acknowledging the presence of the body is probably the
first part of my engagement. Acknowledging probably means being in touch with that part
of my common presences that has the conection with the body. Maybe as I keep doing that,
I would be able to find out more about the right relationship with the body. Understanding
the unique intelligence of the body, its language and try having an impartial view of its
needs and demands. It feel almost like adopting a new born baby

escaping from time

So I wonder what is time? Mainly psychological time. Physical time is lot easier to understand – since its artificially created. Physical time is a function of motion. Time is distance traveled by an object from point A to point B. In a clock 1 second is the distance travelled by the seconds-hand around the circumference of the clock once.

So its easy to understand the artificiality of this. But what about psychological time? It appears to me that there are a few widgets in the head that get activated in the head depending on the energy levels of the organism. One widget could be the “hurry-up” widget which suddenly gives us this feeling of panic that we are running late. Then suddenly there is this awareness of time. Before this widget was activated time did not exist for us. Then there could be “bored” widget. When suddenly once feels that time is not moving. It appears that comes when,say, we are waiting. Waiting for someone, waiting for some boring movie or person to get over. Waiting for a terrible moment to get over. Then again our perception of time gets to fore.
The other experiences of time seem to be variations of the same. When ur having fun and then suddenly when the fun is over a perception of time comes up – how quickly the time has passed. Its almost as if at that moment we compare the physical time elapsed to that if the psychological time – which when we are having fun is absent.

Time other than the physical time seem to not exist. So we try to compare this artificial measure with a measure that is psychological one. For eg if we look at the clock and watch the clock for 5 minutes at different times of the day and at different moods we can see that we do not have an equivalent measure of physical time in terms of psychological time – 5 minutes means so much in my head.
Krishnamurthy I remember him saying that absence of thought is absence of time. So when you are having fun, its pure fun and no thought. Psychological time comes up when there is thought. No thought or watching the movements of time in our internal psyche seems to be the only escape from time.

Field of awareness

I continue to see that my attention is fragmented. During the day, there seems to be no attention to what is happening inside. But I feel that even if there is attention inwards, for a few minutes or hours each day, it still holds out hope. A sensation of the body, an awareness of my inner state even for a few minutes in the morning or night may I guess lead to more prolonged sustained attention during other parts of the day.
it is ironical to sometimes be aware of the pure awareness and then the thought that the body and everything else that we see or perceive to be inside or outside the body is all within the field/created by the awareness. just staying in the presence of pure awareness or invoking it say thru a focus on the breath makes one feel that one is on the border of a larger discovery.

body is truthful.

A very interesting remark by David Bohm one the concept of “me-ness”. The illusion that we think that there is a “me” that I carry everywhere with me. I need to watch each time that “feeling” arises especially when I speak to people or get impressions from conversations or when im self conscious and watch myself from the stand point of other people is visually flashed in my head.
The other amazing line that David Bohm mentioned was that the body is truthful. When we say get insulted or get stressed we can possibly condition our minds to say ..hey im not affected by this or im cool..these things don’t affect me. I have effectively trained the mind to lie to me. But the body will get a clear sensation if we are hurt.

The body does not lie.

I must listen to what the body says and listen more carefully.

Two simultaneous existences

It appeared to me today for a few moments we have two simultaneous existences – one as
pure awareness and one as experiencing the world through the body.
Experiencing through the body is an interesting process to explore. I see that th ne eyes
and the ears largely bring in the impressions, leading to a sensation, then impacting the
hormones and the glands and from the hormones to the mind and the mind takes an action.
Internal experiencing is impressions that come from the mind and it pretty much follows
the same pattern – thot leading to a sensation and sensation connected to a hormone leads
to stimulation in the mind and mind to action. All mechanical and associative.
As though the experiencing the world through the body largely following a habitual pattern.

Moments of non habitual experiencing I think happens when we can have the two
simultaneous existences – one as pure awareness and one as experiencing the world
through the body and a simultaneous recognition of both the experiencing.

Remembrances

1. Universe is only a creation of my own. I should go to the source and at the point where the attention and consciousness mixes with the senses.
2. Everything I see around me is my own creation. Its me in each manifestation.
3. It is a very thin bubble and if we at the first step believe that this is an illusion then it will burst. We have to constantly believe that this is an illusion.
4. Each visual impression, each thought reaction, each sensation only gives more information about myself.

for whom much is given..

So the journey continues. Last night halted at the indo-nepal border at a small village called Kodari. Was magic with the mountains so close. And the river continuing to follow us like Yudhistir’s dog. Or maybe we’re following the river. And then today at Zhangmu across the Chinese border. Into Tibet. The place is so artificial. All industrial looking. As tho the mountains have got a bad skin infection and metallic scabs.
What brings me here? What brings me to places like Tibet, Badrinath, Rishikesh? What brings me to masters like osho, sri sri, sadhguru and ravi ravindra? I struggle with everything. My exercises are all flops – be it speech, sensing or even chanting. Will this be a life wasted? Will all the efforts of my teachers be wasted? Will all the effort of the universe in bringing all these opportunities be of no avail?
I must atleast do my practices and change my diet to vegetarian and no coffee and tea.
And keep a daily journal of my day so I can squarely see for myself where I stand. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy.

वात्चिंग वहत इस हप्पेनिंग inside

Another incredible breakthrough book – this book by Dada Gavand on his personal search. It has given me
hope and a fresh lease for my search in my struggle. This trip to Manasarovar and Kailash seems to be a
shock to wake me up from my poor and insufficient attemps to remember myself or do my practices.
And to culminate this physically strenuous trip with this book seem to be a thin rope held out by the
universe to help save my soul. Maybe the last time I may get any such help. So I better hang on to this
momentum and continue to deepen my practise.
Gavande’s book is almost like a déjà vu. I think I did chance upon this book years ago yet it did not
touch me as it does now. And Gavande describes in excruciating detail as to what he did in the
mountain – just watch the movements of his mind. With vigilance and without giving the mind
any escape in terms of analytics or imagination.
It is a fresh new adventure of watching the mind. Like a movie. It seems interesting and exciting.
I need to watch for self deception.

It gives me hope that this is really the technique. Do your kriyas and your yoga to improve the
being and use that energy to just watch the mind. And watch me watching me. Both
Krishnamurthy and Gavand say that the structure of the mind will collapse. With regular sadhana,
it maybe easier to withstand the tougher challenges of standing in front of one’s lack. What is
required to be done is to watch inward and then as one comes face to face with the points
where the ego will give a very tough fight, do conscious labour and intentional suffering.
God give me strength.

for those who wait in sleep

in the reading from Conje today..something leapt out..

" In a sebse tge possibility of evolution exists for everyone, but it is only a potentiality that must be embraced, put into action, and lived by each one. And the possibility depends on those few who have heard the call in the depths of their being. There is only one injustice : not responding to the call I hear under the false pretext that it is not just, because in not responding I diminish the hope for those who wait in sleep. "

Inside Outside

All experiences are internal. External impressions and stimuli are only bridges to enable internal experience. There is no experience that is external.
This would mean really that the external is a reflection of the internal. The sexual attraction for a woman is therefore a bridge to the feminine energy inside us. The external cosmos that we see is really the internal that is reflected outside. Wow.

everything therefore is really a way to perceive our internal states. Like when people irritate us. Its really our internal irritability that is illuminated. Like when we love someone, its really that the person forms a bridge to open the internal love in us.
i guess this is probably the reason for idol worship - the act of worship allows us to reflect upon our own Self indirectly. When we pray to an idol, we are actually reflecting and praying for the Self inside us.

nothing external therefore is real. it is only a projection. wow.
then the only sadhana is to reflect on the Self.
reaching inwards and observing how we can watch the outside and the inside simultaneously - the internal world and the external world reflecting the internal.

Materiality and Consciousness

Ravi talks about the ends of the spectrum - at one end there is pure consciousness with no materiality. At the other end is pure materiality. It appears that materiality is needed to experience consciousness and then less and less of the materiality is needed to experience that consciousness till I assume, consciousness itslef experiences consciousness.
Each time one gets an impression, a conscious impression, I think it gives a glimpse of experiencing the consciousness. But we tend to ascribe the raison d'etre of that experience to the object and repetition of that experience seem to give rise to desire. If we were to however seperate the object that provided a bridge or a vehicle to travel to experience the consciousness from the experience itself, I would think that the nature of the desire could be better explored. I have a feeling that when a man falls in love, or when I fall in love, that woman or the impression she creates, takes me to be in touch with my own consciousness at a deeper level , but I dont seem to see it that way. I am so consumed by it that the process is invisible to me.
Pure awareness without materiality for me, at my level of comprehension seem to be awareness without the imagery of confinment to the body. Yet the complete experience of al pervasiveness of "I" still eludes.

memory bank

The memory would be better understood if we could understand what kinds of memory we store. I wonder if we have a separate box in the head for Visual memory. A separate box for Auditory memory. A box for memory of sensations.
And I am sure there is actually a precise order in which these are pulled up based on the associative impressions and even the interconnect between them. The study of these maybe could free one of these associations and only as a conscious act dig into these and pull them out – currently we don’t seem to have any say in the images or the songs or the sensations that the served up.