Carrying the body

Im carrying a bag on my shoulders. I can sense the weight of the bag. When Im talking to
someone or when im walking on the road thinking about something, there is this constant
nag of the weight of the bag on my body.
I feel that the weight of the body on the being is like the weight of the bag on the body.
I can sense this weight. There is always a contact point with it. But it is so heavy and
dominating that I can only feel the body as though that’s the only thing hanging on to me.
I need to sense this. The body. And that should be easy since this body seems to be constantly
stuck to me from all sides ! Just sensing the body will allow me to be in right alignment with
the body. Right relationship. And understand some thing more about myself, that freedom
from the body dominating this presence so completely allows me to.

Reposing in the Self

What is meant by reposing in the Self. Or constantly try to be with with Self.
It seems to be that once stays with pure awareness. The point between the in
breath and the out breath for me seems to be a point where I can sense that
point – the meeting point of me and the self. So I repose at that point. T
he meeting is associated with a feeling..a nice feeling..as tho there is a
sensation of nerve that is getting stimulated.

coating of consciousness

It seems to appear that I anoint every object with my consciousness.
It is my consciousness or awareness that gives it life. If I see a person
that person can be a lifeless doll, but in a subtle process I seem to coat him
with life. Otherwise bodies are just shells or toys.

sensing of the body

The sense of the body..rather the weight of the body can be felt all the time on the field of awareness. Like we sense a strong emotion..the body can be sensed like that..like a resistance that we are sublimating..

the sensation or the weight of the body can be felt all the time..and maybe sensing it will give freedom from the body..like sublimating emotions by sensing them..

its a new direction..

Amazing line from Aurobindo Book

“Consciousness is in truth the only organ.”
This is really true. The experiencing of any impression from any sense organ is really by the consciousness. As tho when Im looking..the consciousness is loaded on the sense organ. So freedom from senses or to go to the essense of experiencing “a sight” or a “sound” we need to distill the consciousness from the organ.


Another Amazing line

“The body is a marvelous instrument – docile, enduring, full of inexhaustible goodwill.”
This is so true..its such a sweet statement. I suddenly had this overpowering affection for the body. Its like my doggie. Really sweet. Takes so much abuse. Always complying. This seems to have changed my relationship so completely with my body. Especially the word Goodwill…the body has so much goodwill.

Meister Ekhardt on St. John's " I saw the Word in God"

Tell me, good Sir, do Father, Son and Holy Ghost speak the same word in the Godhead or has each a different word? ' -- In the Godhead there is but one word; in it the Father in the Godhead speaks into his unborn essence and into his born essence, the Father flowing into his Son with all that he is and the Son speaks the same word, and the Father and the Son flow into the Holy Ghost and the Holy Ghost speaks the same word. They speak this one simple word in their essence and each speaks the same word in his own Person, and in their common nature they discourse the truth and the Persons receive the essence as it is essentially. Yet the Persons receive from one another. They bow down to the essence in praise, lauding the essence; and the unborn essence pronounces its unborn word in the Persons, lauding the Persons, and the Persons receive the essence every whit and pass it on to one another. This unborn essence is self-sufficient, without birth and without activity. Birth and activity are in the Persons. The Persons say they are the truth and that creatures have none of the truth. When the soul attains to this divine speech she speaks this very truth and is the Deity to every creature as well as to herself. This comes of his indivisible nature and therein creatures are a matter of the will. The bad are bad and the good good, the Persons preserving justice in the Godhead. They give the bad their due and the good theirs.

How..when

DIE BEFORE YOU DIE...

its a race...between the body that is subject to time and the soul's stage of evolution...can sadhana accelerate this...what is my role?

Bayazid

Bayazid is recorded saying " For thirty years I went in search of God and when I opened by eyes at the end of this time I discovered that it was really he who sought me".

"The thing we tell of can never be found by seeking, yet only seekers find it (Dermenghem)

The tree veils

the sufi saint Bayazid says

"THOSE WHO ARE MOST VEILED FROM GOD ARE THREE.

First is the Ascetic who is veiled by his Ascetism.
Second is the Worshipper who is veiled by his Devotion
Thrid is the scholar who is Veiled by his Knowledge

sufi story

there is this beautiful sufi story about this sufi saint who asks a girl carrying a lamp

"Where did this fire come from?"

THe girl quickly blows out the lamp and says

"Where did this fire go "

Sometimes one can experience even for a fleeting second an Existence through the body. The golden sunshine as tho its like a chemical reaction under the skin of the head and then this whole world with its colours and sounds. As tho pure awareness entrered the body thru some portal..like being in an bioscope peering thru the hole

BREATHING

With Each InBreathing, I go back to the Source and Touch it.

Oh this is so Sacred. To touch the Source each time I breathe in. Oh God.

Our Universe within us

Read something astounding.. by Molly Tamulevich
(www. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/215)

Developed by neuropsychologist Karl Pribram, and quantum physicist David Bohm,
the holographic theory explains the universe as a series of complex waves, and the
brain as a means of deconstructing those waves into recognizable patterns. Using the
Fourier theorem [1] they realized that the combination of wave frequencies form
interference patterns in the brain and create new holographic patterns. This
is why a certain smell or sound can bring up memories that seem unrelated;
at one point in the past, they may have been perceived at the same time.

A holograph is an image that has the unique property of containing the
entirety of the image in each piece. If I were to cut a tiny piece of
holographic film off from the whole, it would still contain the whole image
but in a blurrier form. A holograph is formed by superimposing two different
light beams. It is a three dimensional projection of an object caught in the light.
It can store an incredible amount of information and holographic technology
is being used to exponentially increase the memory capability of computers.
According to Pribram, interference patterns caused by the clashing Fourier
waves in the universe converge through the lenses of our various senses,
causing a three dimensional representation of our perceptions.
[2] We are, according to Pribram, living in a giant hologram. If our brain has
holographic capabilities, it would not only explain how it can hold so much
information, but also shed light on experiments carried out by Karl Lashley
in which he concluded that memories were not stored in one part of the brain
but distributed throughout it. Lashley extensively removed or damaged the brains
of rats trying to locate the area in which they stored memories, but no matter
where he experimented, they continued to perform learned tasks. This supports
the idea that memories are holographic in that they are stored throughout the
brain, not just in one location.
Conditions such as synesthesia also support the holographic model.
If someone is able to taste words or attribute personalities to days of
the week, it is likely that inputs to the brain are being interpreted through
a different lens than those of non-synaesthetic individuals. It could be
that the ears or eyes of someone with synesthesia are equipped to read
inputs that most people block out. What would it be like to interpret the
waves around us more fully? We can feel the sun and see the sun, but what
if we were able to taste and hear the sun? It’s not that the waves are not

reaching our tongues and ears, we either don’t have the receptors to interpret
them or they are the wrong length for the receptors we do have.
Michael Talbot’s book, “The Holographic Universe” explains away dozens of
unexplained phenomenon using the holographic theory, and it is in this real
world application that the theory gets controversial [3].
If all memories are contained within all parts of the brain, what is to say
that the image of the whole universe is not contained in each part of the brain???

Our Universe within us

Read something astounding.. by Molly Tamulevich (www. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/215)

Developed by neuropsychologist Karl Pribram, and quantum physicist David Bohm,
the holographic theory explains the universe as a series of complex waves, and the
brain as a means of deconstructing those waves into recognizable patterns. Using the
Fourier theorem [1] they realized that the combination of wave frequencies form
interference patterns in the brain and create new holographic patterns. This
is why a certain smell or sound can bring up memories that seem unrelated;
at one point in the past, they may have been perceived at the same time.

A holograph is an image that has the unique property of containing the
entirety of the image in each piece. If I were to cut a tiny piece of
holographic film off from the whole, it would still contain the whole image
but in a blurrier form. A holograph is formed by superimposing two different
light beams. It is a three dimensional projection of an object caught in the light.
It can store an incredible amount of information and holographic technology
is being used to exponentially increase the memory capability of computers.
According to Pribram, interference patterns caused by the clashing Fourier
waves in the universe converge through the lenses of our various senses,
causing a three dimensional representation of our perceptions.
[2] We are, according to Pribram, living in a giant hologram. If our brain has
holographic capabilities, it would not only explain how it can hold so much
information, but also shed light on experiments carried out by Karl Lashley
in which he concluded that memories were not stored in one part of the brain
but distributed throughout it. Lashley extensively removed or damaged the brains
of rats trying to locate the area in which they stored memories, but no matter
where he experimented, they continued to perform learned tasks. This supports
the idea that memories are holographic in that they are stored throughout the
brain, not just in one location.
Conditions such as synesthesia also support the holographic model.
If someone is able to taste words or attribute personalities to days of
the week, it is likely that inputs to the brain are being interpreted through
a different lens than those of non-synaesthetic individuals. It could be
that the ears or eyes of someone with synesthesia are equipped to read
inputs that most people block out. What would it be like to interpret the
waves around us more fully? We can feel the sun and see the sun, but what
if we were able to taste and hear the sun? It’s not that the waves are not

reaching our tongues and ears, we either don’t have the receptors to interpret
them or they are the wrong length for the receptors we do have.
Michael Talbot’s book, “The Holographic Universe” explains away dozens of
unexplained phenomenon using the holographic theory, and it is in this real
world application that the theory gets controversial [3].
If all memories are contained within all parts of the brain, what is to say
that the image of the whole universe is not contained in each part of the brain???

death

“What is death? Moving awareness away from a particular time or place makes that particular
time or place die. Lack of awareness is death. It's like sleeping.
The process of death is not unfamiliar to me. I can be aware of my foot. Now, I can be aware of
my hand. When I am aware of my foot, I am not aware of my hand, I don't know if it was there.
Next moment when I become aware of it, it came ito being. Birth and death, these are continuously
happening every moment. They are painless. I cannot be afraid of birth.”
This is a significant quote by Amritananda.

I am dead most of the time except when Im aware I exist. The physical body seems to be only a
conduit thru which impressions come and responses go using the senses. I need to be feel alive
only then im alive.

I need to experience complete death before the destruction of this physical body. Im aware that
I have access to this body for a limited period of time and I need to use that to experience
existence without the physical body. As a pure awareness. Wonder if pure awareness can
continue to exist without breathing.

Sacrifice

RigVeda says " This sacrifice is the navel of the Universe".

Our navel is where we get sustenance from our mother when we are in her womb. So a sacrifice is what sustains the Universe, its baby. Without sacrifice the universe will die of starvation, it appears.

All powers to Sacrifice through Sacrifice – Yajurveda

All this, whatever exists is made to share through sacrifice - Rig Veda

So what is sacrifice? What is needed of us in this chain of sacrifice ?


The Wiki says "By sacrifice in the real sense is universally understood the offering of a sense-perceptible gift to the Deity as an outward manifestation of our veneration for Him and with the object of attaining communion with Him. Strictly speaking however, this offering does not become a sacrifice until a real change has been effected in the visible gift (e. g. by slaying it, shedding its blood. burning it, or pouring it out). "

Sacrifice is an action that creates.

The gods sacrificed with the sacrifice to the sacrifice…Rig veda

Sacrifice everywhere

Origin of Sacrifice - sacrum + facere - To make sacred.

Aurobindo says - But the highest only only comes when the sacrifice is no longer to the gods but to the one all-pervading Divine established in the sacrifice, of which the Gods are only inferior forms and when he puts away the lower self that desires and enjoys and gives up his personal sense of being a Worker to the true executrix of the Works, Prakriti and his personal sense of being the enjoyer to the Divine Purusha, the higher and universal Self who is the real enjoyer of the Works of Prakriti.
......The fire agni is no material flame, but brahmagni, the fire of the Brahman...inner Agni, preist of sacrifice into which sacrifice offering is poured..the fire is self-control or its a purified sense-action or it is the vital energy in that discipline of the control of the vital being though the control of breath...or it is the fire of self knowledge, the flame of the supreme sacrifice.

Sacrifice is an exchange of substances between Levels - both within ourselves and the outside.

So what is My Sacrifice? How do I participate in this cosmic cycle Consciously? In any case Im probably doing it unconsciously.
What is my sacrifice..what is created with my sacrifice?

Two universes

So is the body the dividing line between the inside and the outside? what we refer to as inside including our thoughts as that which is under the skin and external world is what our senses perceive?
If however one were to go with the notion that one is pure awareness and that this body is actually created by the awareness and further that this body is one of the elements in the field of this awareness along with many other elements then one will have to have a different dividing line between what is inside and outside – because the fact is that we do experience inside and outside.

One possible division of spaces could be the division between the Ego or the Personality and that of the Self or Pure awareness. If we are a collection of energy field then this energy sometimes settles at the level of the Ego that leads to turning thoughts, and all the internal activities that are driven by the Ego. And then when the energy rises to a level higher than the Ego, then there are moments of insights, joy and compassion.

Even the notion of “me” – is probably a point in the universe of the Ego.

The pull will always be between these two universes – of the Ego and of the Self and the struggle of this energy field that I call my common presence or “me” – is to constantly engage with the universe of the Ego by keeping a simultaneous connection with the universe of the Self.

ze body

It appears that the body and the senses are a kind of device or intermediate that allows us to
experience the world
; its tastes, its passions, its pains, its smells. As though this body is like a binocular through
which I can see the world and engage with it. What then is the right relationship between
me and the body.
There is atfirst a sense of gratitude – for this body is a bridge that allows these
myriad of experiences. As though this body is a special organ that bring these
impressions from the planet earth to us.
How does the body relate to me in my overall sphere of attention? This has been a difficult
exploration because sometimes the vantage point of awareness is from inside the body and
sometime the vantage point of awarenss is from the outside.
I see that firstly recognizing and acknowledging the presence of the body is probably the
first part of my engagement. Acknowledging probably means being in touch with that part
of my common presences that has the conection with the body. Maybe as I keep doing that,
I would be able to find out more about the right relationship with the body. Understanding
the unique intelligence of the body, its language and try having an impartial view of its
needs and demands. It feel almost like adopting a new born baby

escaping from time

So I wonder what is time? Mainly psychological time. Physical time is lot easier to understand – since its artificially created. Physical time is a function of motion. Time is distance traveled by an object from point A to point B. In a clock 1 second is the distance travelled by the seconds-hand around the circumference of the clock once.

So its easy to understand the artificiality of this. But what about psychological time? It appears to me that there are a few widgets in the head that get activated in the head depending on the energy levels of the organism. One widget could be the “hurry-up” widget which suddenly gives us this feeling of panic that we are running late. Then suddenly there is this awareness of time. Before this widget was activated time did not exist for us. Then there could be “bored” widget. When suddenly once feels that time is not moving. It appears that comes when,say, we are waiting. Waiting for someone, waiting for some boring movie or person to get over. Waiting for a terrible moment to get over. Then again our perception of time gets to fore.
The other experiences of time seem to be variations of the same. When ur having fun and then suddenly when the fun is over a perception of time comes up – how quickly the time has passed. Its almost as if at that moment we compare the physical time elapsed to that if the psychological time – which when we are having fun is absent.

Time other than the physical time seem to not exist. So we try to compare this artificial measure with a measure that is psychological one. For eg if we look at the clock and watch the clock for 5 minutes at different times of the day and at different moods we can see that we do not have an equivalent measure of physical time in terms of psychological time – 5 minutes means so much in my head.
Krishnamurthy I remember him saying that absence of thought is absence of time. So when you are having fun, its pure fun and no thought. Psychological time comes up when there is thought. No thought or watching the movements of time in our internal psyche seems to be the only escape from time.

Field of awareness

I continue to see that my attention is fragmented. During the day, there seems to be no attention to what is happening inside. But I feel that even if there is attention inwards, for a few minutes or hours each day, it still holds out hope. A sensation of the body, an awareness of my inner state even for a few minutes in the morning or night may I guess lead to more prolonged sustained attention during other parts of the day.
it is ironical to sometimes be aware of the pure awareness and then the thought that the body and everything else that we see or perceive to be inside or outside the body is all within the field/created by the awareness. just staying in the presence of pure awareness or invoking it say thru a focus on the breath makes one feel that one is on the border of a larger discovery.