state of mind tracking Monday morning pre 8:52 am

Mind serene. I can see thoughts coming but not touching me. I know its chemical. But there is bliss. Present moment always. With my connectedness.

part 2 at office. Will take stock if I can maintain the connection.

Street walking

Streets are the soul of any city. Walking on the streets of Calcutta for eg. Is like losing yourself in your old family album discovered quite accidentally from the attic. Your walk is not just slow and leisurely, you actually stop at points, savouring the sepia tones of the city, its crowds only part of the group photo, its dust only the dust flying off the album. That is the soul of the city. It is in a time wrap – in its most romantic sense. Its not stopped or decaying. It is just continuing to move within the same dimension – like listening to an old song that you don’t mind listening again and again. And then suddenly a gem from the past, a sight of an old book long forgotten, and the warm glow in your heart – when the ripe bossoms of nostalgia crush themselves over your chest. Walking in Paris is a lot like walking in Calcutta. There is the essential past that really is playing in front of you with the patina of the present almost there to ridicule itself. Walking in paris or watching the city pass in front of you as you sip your café au lait you see how Calcutta and Paris share the same soul. I think its really the sensuality of the energy of both cities. The sensuality that expresses itself in Paris in its art, cinema and the soft flicks of the cusine on your tongue. In Calcutta, its in the languid strain of its Rabindra sangeet, the passion of the bargaining in the fish market and the sudden rush of your lover’s sweet saliva as you bit into a rasgulla. HongKong is slow and languid.l You could call it Calutta. But Hongkong has no passion. The Streets are full of people. No one’s in a hurry. But there is a blandness to the walking. The neons flashing and the plasmas screaming don’t help. All the props seem helpless against the quiet mass of sleepy people that throng the streets. Its frustrating. Why is this city so expressionless? Is this a curse by some dragon princess? Or has the coldness of the skyscrapers in glass and steel seeped deep into bones turning their blood into mineral water and emotions into diet passion? Washington DC and New Delhi, as slow but with a difference. You cant miss the cold power in the under currents. Here’s a slowness of secure power. Like a quiet purr of a Jaguar. People as warm as cadavers greeting you with the temperature of a morgue and social behavior as efficient as a philharmonic. Even sex would be as per position # 23 of the Manual. In Hong Kong, it would be position #23 too, but there would be people assisting. New York and Bombay are pure sex. The energy hits you as you embrace into the city. There is an unexpectedness in New York and Bombay. No rules. And the promise of some adventure that gets your heart thudding. Its just the way you walk on the street. Fast. Very fast. And its not laboured. Its just the sheer excitement – a mix of taboo, a large dash of power, and the sheer freedom of anonymity that New York and Bombay gives you. You can just be your self. These cities don’t judge. They don’t even care you exist. Yet you know that your heartbeat has added to the city’s heartbeat. Your are part of it yet its not imposed on you. The city wraps itself around you, so you and the city have both an independent and a combined persona. Unlike the langorous sensuality of Cal and Paris where there is a suspended desire at the hem of each skirt or the sari pallu, in New York its very vocal. No stolen kisses or a careless caress of the breast tip here – its like mouth jabbing kisses and crotch grinding, frantic and instant gratification – like a pit stop in an F1.

Automatic for the people

How do i fight my passivity? This completely pre programmed responses-that this machine seem to be giving. Cruel word responded with cruel words. Kind words likewise. Pretty face and want to possess. Hint of a breast and ready to mate. All the buttons of this machine is in everybody else's hand. How do i disable the buttons. Make a fresh response. Each time. Become human. Again.

apple of my I

How do I therefore unlock myself and get free? There is the half eaten apple of desire. There is our past, like a clock ticking in the heart. Key is out there somewhere but cant find it..slender threads link us to the mother tree.. i need help to find the key...even tho the door may be open..

Anniversary

Happy anniversary to the blog for surviving a year !

body shop

hmm..it appears that we have bin fooling ourselves for a long time. firstly it appears that "we are the body" seems to be just a notion.. its only in our minds..someone i guess decided to put it in our heads...seems like a massive virus attack on civilisation..the Great Forgetting :-) maybe this is what the bible talked about Adam and Eve..needed to chekc out their vacation in the Garden prematurely! so if we are not the body..and we actually experience it..then i guess it is immortality...wow...so that's really what immortality all about..consciousness without the body..

so the eternal question of what am i doing in the world..what is my purpose..what is my destiny..all therefore goes gracefully out of the window...for the cause and effect seems to be a problem with the mind..and without body..no-mind..please dont mind.. and so we just are...! purposeless..?? kind of deflating i must say..considering my world domination ambitions..or the thrill of cracking a deal..means nothing in the cosmos..even less significant than a fart of an old star..then why do i get horny?

more later...

Bhagvad Gita for Dummies

The Gita has two streams of thought flowing - an ethical stream and a metaphysical stream-dealing respectively with what man ought to do and what God is.

Work Alone are thou entitled to and not its fruit. So never work for fruit nor yet desist from work.

A man of even mind puts away here both good and evil. Therefore strive for Yoga. Yoga is skill in action.

No man can be ever free from a life of action by merely avoiding active work. and no man can ever reach perfection through mere renunciation.

This world is fettered by work, UNLESS it is done as a sacrifice. Therefore, O son of Kunti give up your attachments and do thy work as a SACRIFICE.

Therefore always without attachment do the work thou hast to do for a man who does his work without attachment wins the SUPREME.

There is nothing in the three Worlds O Partha for me to achieve nor is there anything to gain that I have not gained. Yet I continue to work - for if I did not continue to work unwearied men all round the world would follow my path. If I should cease to work, these worlds would perish and I should cause confusion and destroy these people.

Better is one's duty though imperfectly done than the duty of another, well done

The works of a man whose attachments are gone, who is free and whose mind is well established in knowledge melt away entirely being done as a sacrifice.

THere is nothing whatever that is higher than what I am O Dhananjaya ; all this is strung on me as rows of Gems on a string ( a central consciousness pervading all things)

Goodness binds one to hapiness. Passion binds one to action and dullness veiling knowledge binds one to negligence.

There are three gateways of this HELL leading to the ruin of the soul - LUST, WRATH and GREED. Therefore let man renounce all three.

Penances - The Worship of the Gods, of teachers and of the wise, purity, uprightness, abstinence and non-violence - these are said to be penances of the BODY

The utterance of words which do not give offense and which are truthful, pleasant and beneficial, and the regular recitation of the Vedas - these are said to be penance of speech.

The serenity of the mind, beneficience, silence, self control and purity of the heart - these are said to be penances of the mind.

These three fold penances practised with perfect faith by men of balanced mind without desire for gain is said to be a "good disposition"

....for sacrifice, gifts and penances purify the wise. Even these works should be however done with surrender of attachment and of fruits. This O Partha is my decided and final view.

But renunciation of any duty that ought to be done is not right.

The wise man of renunciation, who is imbued with goodness and whose doubts are dispelled never hates a duty that is unpleasant.

The steadiness by which one never fails in concentration and by which one controls the activities of the mind, the life breaths and of the senses - that O partha is of the nature of goodness.

Search Diary Aug 22nd

This week went by again without any progress. Be it breath awareness or relaxing the body's tiny and small tensions. I hope this week will prove better. I must place an awareness chant and monitor it on the following :
-breath
-speech
-body awareness

God give me strenght please. Also the new diet that I am doing should clean me up. I am so convinced that there is a divine hand in my diet.
Great quote from RigVeda " Desire was the first seed of the mind"

Ramana Maharshi....

How to get rid of fear?
All fear is nothing more than thoughts. If there is only ONE then there cannot be a second.

Quote from Ramakrishan....
"god can be realised ...but who takes the trouble to do so? People will shed tears for wife, children, or possessions..but who will weep for the love of god?"

Present moment

This is the present moment. As I type. The sound of the keyboard, the sight of the letters being born on the screen, the sound of the car that is passing by, the touch of the plastic on the tips of my fingers. This is the truth because the mind is dead right now. Only my senses are alive. This moment is eternity. Right now, I have exercised by evolutionary right of being aware that I am aware. Soon i will lapse into being an animal - doing things quite unaware and mechanically.

I wonder if i keep on typing like this will this keep me engaged in the present moment forever. Is this why they say physical work and strain are an important part of the spiritual search because doing physical things with awareness seems far easier than doing mental things like meditation with awarenes..

the world is so full right now with noises and light. the moment is beautiful. it is real and there are no opinions. there is not even me.

reality bites

The senses dont make any sense any more. The World is a projection inside my head. Like the kernel of a coconut. Or being in the centre of the universe till the lights of the planetarium comes on. So what does the real world look like? Beyond the senses. Shut your eyes. Close ur ears. Clamp the nose. What then is left? The mind - that is the combination of all the senses that sucks you to its world. Shut the mind too. What remains? Silence. Now is there something beyond silence? How long should the silence be till the door opens? The mind stands between me and the door. Its chattering creases the silence and hides the door. Silence. It is the key.

getting the divine to ascend into the heart

during the day, the soul vanishes. as though the devil needs to earn the living. then morning comes and the soul rises for a few moment. gives a glimpse of eternal solace. then hte masks are put on again. the dance with the devil begins. the sacred sap is exchanged for the ego's survival and the night comes again for the soul to apply the healing. when can i cross over?

Nirvana be

That is the question. Nirvana be or not to be? So Descartes got it all wrong. Cogito is not ergo sum. It seems to be the opposite. So till the cosmos gives you a tongue fill into your gasping mouth, dance to the tune of the forces and do the roller coaster on the intestines. But then the Universe is kind..!