The Struggle called Life

The key struggle for life is because the future is uncertain.

No action will issue from me without a purpose or ambition.

I had started my life with big dreams and high ambitions. However I find that things don’t pan out to be as I had planned.

This began a beginning of a series of negative emotions starting from disappointments to despair at one end and of course violence in the wish to achieve the goals at whatever costs.

The society itself does not approve  ‘giving up’ .

Therefore I, and every man is pulled into a series of painful sufferings.

If I now go back to the beginning, I see that without any desire there is no action.

If action has to be done by passion, then it needs the fuel of desire and ambition. Atleast at my level of being. I can go through the motions of action like de-motivated employees of government companies.

It does not appear reasonable that the universe would create a pain machine.  This is a key assumption. It is not easy to assume this.  There is no empirical evidence for this as everything appears as an accident. Yet we pray and hope prayers come true. The assumption can therefore only come by Hope which is a key chemical to be present in assuming that the universe is compassionate. I would also assume that since as human beings we do show compassion, it must represent an element that is already present in the universe. Or for that matter Love.

It therefore appears as if our desires or ambition manifest to create some momentum of action in us.  The mistake we make in our ignorance is that we believe once we think or dream of it, it will come true if we work hard. Or that we need to achieve it hook or by crook.

We don’t realise that the desire is for us to break the interia and start an action. Once we start the action, the momentum is then controlled by the forces of the universe. There are obstacles and there are encouragements. We are so focused on the outcome that it is the single force that drives us.

Thus if the effort succeeds we are happy. If it fails we are disappointed. We seem to not “see” that disappointment only comes because we had  goal or an outcome in mind. As though disappointment chemical in us is created with a combination of goal and effort.

The other chemical that is created is Fear. All action seem to stem from fear. Fear of not meeting goals. Or Ambitions. So our life is led with pain – comprising largely of fear, anxiety and disappointments.

To add to this, the moment we get what we planned, we now want something else. Till we reach the level of failure.

 The one way out of this seems to be to use desire and ambition to start the initial action and then stick to doing “what is right” and forget about the goals. Because for us again its not the goals – its what “WE” get once the goal is achieved.  If things don’t happen then It meant that the Universe meant the action for something else. This of course is tricky. One needs to grapple with a problem before concluding on its outcome. One needs to watch if there is passivity involved.

This is probably why Gita said

1. “Renounce the fruits of action”

2. “Struggle without agitation”

There are two other forces which will not make this an easy exercise. One is the force of “Money”- at some point one is tested against money. Rents to be paid, bills to be paid, school fees to be paid.

The other force is Time. It is relentless and with the Force of Money pushes one/me I am tested against the above hypothesis of “struggle without agitation” and “renounce the fruits of action”. The demand for the fruits of action comes from Time and Money which needs to be fed with the fruits for survival.

And if Time and Money were not there as forces, there would be no fear and anxiety or disappointment in connection with Action. But these forces do exist.

So then how does one deal with the fact that one continues to plan and puts efforts and yet nothing comes off it and the forces of Money and Time take you to a point where survival is at stake? Does one extend the wait beyond this point?

Here is where faith comes into play –  a belief that in the last minute I will be saved. This has happened to me a few times. And then maybe if the faith is strong fear will cease to exist. But one needs to let go completely and let the universe take over. Let the laws take over. Let the human being in me, step aside.

Faith and trust in the Law then become antidote for Fear and my very act of not giving into fear or desperation can then open new doors and even newer possibilities.