Wednesday, November 09, 2016

On nursing suffering

So the last few days have been this feeling of pain in the heart. One of those things that have no reason to cause it. Usually when it has appeared in the past it has maybe lasted for a few hours at best and then the being changes. This time it is longer. Been 5 days and it starts as soon as I get up in the morning and ends somewhere in the evening as I leave for home from work.

I know my responsibility is to stay and thank fully other than few moments I feel aligned to it like a duty to share some Cosmic sorrow. The few weak moments I am identified with it but thankfully so far no self pity.
The pain is sapping. I miss my natural optimism and upbeatedness. It has taken away my sense of purpose as well as the energy that starts initiatives. It is very precious for me that energy and I feel it has got me to wherever I am.

Whenever there are moments of relief I go with my breath as a tongue to look for sadness in the corners of my heart and I find traces.

I wonder if  I my pain is part of an overall planetary situation (like it has been in the past) or something chemical in my head.

Tomorrow is another day.

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