It is interesting to read about what Gurdjieff had to speak about classification of consciousness based on firstly what a creature eats, secondly by what it breathes and finally by the medium he breathes.
Man feeds on H768 (food), breathes H192(air), and lives in H192(air). A worm feeds on H1536 ( say coarse flour..coarser than say the rotis we eat), breathes H192(air) and lives in H1536.
A fish feeds on H1536, breathes H192 and lives in H 384(water).
A tree feeds on H 1536, breathes partly H96/partly H192 and lives in H3072(soil).
Humans cannot directly eat H1536 which worms or lamb or fish can.
Therefore it is possible to say that the intelligence of a matter is determined by the creature for whom it can serve as food. Therefore for eg..a baked potato has more intelligence than a raw potato?
So how do i become food of the gods? How do I bake well so the gods eat me?
Man's food is H 768. This he cannot change. He breathes H192. This he cannot change. But what is can improve is in intake of "impressions" and this way intake finer impressions into his organism. A man is not obliged to take in the dull impressions of H48. He can have H24, H12, H6 and even H3. This changes the whole picture..for those who produce and feed their factory finer hydrogens..will be different from those who feed their machine will less finer hydrogens..
and so the more i bake, the more i would take in nourishment from finer and finer hydrogens..and feed the gods..?
"I am food, I am food, I am food! I am the eater of food, I am the eater of food, I am the eater of food! I am the uniter, I am the uniter, I am the uniter" - Taitriya Upanishad.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Sacrificing suffering
...quote from Ouspensky as told to him by G. "Another thing the people must sacrifice is their suffering. A man will renounce any pleasures you like but he will never give up his suffering...."
what does that mean...to sacrifice one's suffering..? is it freedom from self pity? or is there anything more in this..?
why is the word sacrifice used...is there something voluntary here as opposed to running away?
Friday, July 18, 2008
Octaves and Chakras
Interesting talk by Sri sri where he talks about the emotional aspect of the energy at different chakras.
At the (Base of spine)Mooladhara - the energy manifests as either activity or passivity.
At (perinium) Swadishtana - it takes on the manifestation of sexual sensations
At (Navel) Manipura - it manifests as Jealousy or Generosity
At (Heart) Anahata - it manifests as Love or hate
At (THroat) Vishudhi - it manifests as Gratitude or Sadness (catch in the throat?)
At (eyebrow centre) Ajna - it manifests as Awareness or Anger
At (top of the head/fonataine) Sahasrara - its pure joy.
It is amazing to see that in each chakra we can see the manifestation of the descending the ascending octaves -one with a lower emotion and the other with a higher..and the sex centre is even more interesting. seems to be an intersection point.
At the (Base of spine)Mooladhara - the energy manifests as either activity or passivity.
At (perinium) Swadishtana - it takes on the manifestation of sexual sensations
At (Navel) Manipura - it manifests as Jealousy or Generosity
At (Heart) Anahata - it manifests as Love or hate
At (THroat) Vishudhi - it manifests as Gratitude or Sadness (catch in the throat?)
At (eyebrow centre) Ajna - it manifests as Awareness or Anger
At (top of the head/fonataine) Sahasrara - its pure joy.
It is amazing to see that in each chakra we can see the manifestation of the descending the ascending octaves -one with a lower emotion and the other with a higher..and the sex centre is even more interesting. seems to be an intersection point.
Who is?
Kabir says O Sadhu! God is the breath of all breath.
Who is breathing..?
Who is watching..?
Is attention the tongue on which we taste all experiences?
Who is breathing..?
Who is watching..?
Is attention the tongue on which we taste all experiences?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Ignore button
I seem to have an ignore button..whose job is to quickly sweep under the carpet any impression falling on my. When I caught the bastard in the act, it was amazing. There is a constant stream of impressions coming to me..be it the impression of a stranger or the impression of a planeful of people as I enter an aircraft..or inward shrinking to avoid touching people in a crowd. And for a millisecond i experience it. VEry clearly. And then before it gets registered into me consciously, the Ignore button appears and very clearly says "ignore this" and its gone.
And therefore my life is lived partially!
So constant vigilance..for the Ingore button
Monday, July 07, 2008
Partaking of the sensations of the body
How can I continue to get an unending stream of sense impressions from the body? How Do i remember to sense my body all the time?
Quote from Pentland "I need to come back to the work of sensation because the container is coated in me through the transformation of my energies. And this transformation cannot take place at the level of my functioning—the forms that this energy takes. As long as I’m taken by that level, there can be no transformation.
So I begin to discover through the work of sensation that I can be aware of energy and vibration before they have taken form.
And this is the first step towards that transformation by which a container could exist for my inner life, which would give me the opportunity to study the appearance of the forces that act through these energies."
Quote from Pentland "I need to come back to the work of sensation because the container is coated in me through the transformation of my energies. And this transformation cannot take place at the level of my functioning—the forms that this energy takes. As long as I’m taken by that level, there can be no transformation.
So I begin to discover through the work of sensation that I can be aware of energy and vibration before they have taken form.
And this is the first step towards that transformation by which a container could exist for my inner life, which would give me the opportunity to study the appearance of the forces that act through these energies."
Sensation exercises
Dr. Kenneth Walker
"At a very much later date the great importance of the faculty of attention in our work was again brought home to us. This was after Ouspensky's death, when some of us went over to Paris to study under G himself. G immediately taught us a number of exercises in muscle-relaxing and in what he called 'body-sensing', exercises which were and still are of greatest value to us. We were told to direct our attention in a predetermined order to various sets of muscles, for example, those of the right arm, the right leg, the left leg and so on, relaxing them more and more as we come round to them again; until we have attained what we feel to be the utmost relaxation possible for us. Whilst we were doing this we had at the same time to 'sense' that particular area of the body; in other words to become aware of it. We all know, of course, that we possess limbs, a head and a body, but in ordinary circumstances we do not feel or sense them. But with practice the attention can be thrown on to any part of the body desired, the muscles in that particular area relaxed, and sensation from that region evoked. At the word of inner command the right ear is 'sensed', then the left ear, the nose, the top of the head, the right arm, right hand and so on, until a 'sensation' tour has been made of the whole body. The exercise can, if required, be rendered still more difficult by counting backwards, by repeating strings of words or by evoking ideas at the same moment that the relaxing and sensing is being carried out.
"The question may well be asked: 'What benefit can possibly result from learning all these yogi tricks with the body?' This is not difficult to answer. There are three reasons for doing such exercises as these: the first is that it is excellent training for the attention; the second that it teaches a person how to relax; and the third that it produces a very definite inner psychic change. This change can be summed up in the statement that the exercise draws together parts of our mechanism which previously had been working disconnectedly. But external descriptions of these valuable exercises and of the results obtained from them are quite useless. They can only be understood by personal experience of them, a fact which emphasizes once again the impossibility of imparting knowledge of this kind in a book. All special exercises of this kind have to be taught by word of mouth, and, so far as I know, they have never been committed to writing.
"At a very much later date the great importance of the faculty of attention in our work was again brought home to us. This was after Ouspensky's death, when some of us went over to Paris to study under G himself. G immediately taught us a number of exercises in muscle-relaxing and in what he called 'body-sensing', exercises which were and still are of greatest value to us. We were told to direct our attention in a predetermined order to various sets of muscles, for example, those of the right arm, the right leg, the left leg and so on, relaxing them more and more as we come round to them again; until we have attained what we feel to be the utmost relaxation possible for us. Whilst we were doing this we had at the same time to 'sense' that particular area of the body; in other words to become aware of it. We all know, of course, that we possess limbs, a head and a body, but in ordinary circumstances we do not feel or sense them. But with practice the attention can be thrown on to any part of the body desired, the muscles in that particular area relaxed, and sensation from that region evoked. At the word of inner command the right ear is 'sensed', then the left ear, the nose, the top of the head, the right arm, right hand and so on, until a 'sensation' tour has been made of the whole body. The exercise can, if required, be rendered still more difficult by counting backwards, by repeating strings of words or by evoking ideas at the same moment that the relaxing and sensing is being carried out.
"The question may well be asked: 'What benefit can possibly result from learning all these yogi tricks with the body?' This is not difficult to answer. There are three reasons for doing such exercises as these: the first is that it is excellent training for the attention; the second that it teaches a person how to relax; and the third that it produces a very definite inner psychic change. This change can be summed up in the statement that the exercise draws together parts of our mechanism which previously had been working disconnectedly. But external descriptions of these valuable exercises and of the results obtained from them are quite useless. They can only be understood by personal experience of them, a fact which emphasizes once again the impossibility of imparting knowledge of this kind in a book. All special exercises of this kind have to be taught by word of mouth, and, so far as I know, they have never been committed to writing.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Hydrogen 12, Sex Centre and so on by Ouspensky
quotes from Page 257 ISOM - ouspensky.
What is meant by mechanicalness with respect to sex energy ?
Everything that people do is connected with sex. Politics, religion, art, theatre, music, is all sex. Do you think people go to the theatre or church to pray or to see some play? That is only for the sake of appearances. The principal thing is that theatre as well in the church is that there will be lots of women and lots of men.
Mechanicalness is especially dangerous when people try to explain it by something else and not what it really is. When sex is clearly conscious of itself and does not cover itself up anything else. ..On the contrary sex which exists by itself(without self image? fantasies?) and is not dependant on anything else is already a great achievement.
What is si 12 and its role ?
Hydrogen Si 12 is the hydrogen which represents the final product of the transformation of food in the human organism.This is the matter with which sex works. And which sex manufactures. It is the Seed and the Fruit.
What is the “dual nature” of the shock at Si 12?
Hydrogen Si 12 can pass into the Do of the next octave with the help of an additional shock. But this shock can be of a dual nature and different Octaves can begin. One outside the organism and one in the organism iself.
The union of male and female Si 12.constitutes the shock of the First kind and the new octave begins with its help and develops independently as a new life. This is the natural way the use the energy of Si 12.
But in the same organism there is a further possibility
What is the further possibility?
This is the possibility of creating a new life “Within” the organism in which the S1 12 has been manufactured, without the union of the two principles, the male and the female.
A new octave then develops within the organism not outside it. This is the birth of the Astral Body. You must understand that the astral body is born of the same material of the same matter as the physical body, only the process is different.
How is the Astral Body created?
The whole of the physical body all its cells are so to speak permeated by emanations of the matter Si12. And when they have become sufficiently saturated the matter Si12 begins to crystalise. The crystallization of this matter constitutes formation of the “Astral Body.”( is this what the tantric practices aim for?) Formation of the Astral Body is possible only in a healthy normally functioning organism.
So is complete sexual abstinence the answer?
Firstly sexual abstinence is necessary for transmutation only in certain cases that is for certain types of people.
For others it is not at all necessary.
For certain types a long and complete sexual abstinence is necessary for transmutation to begin. But once it has begun abstinence is no longer necessary.
In other cases it does not require abstinence but once begun, tansmutation takes all the sexual energy putting an end of normal sexual life or the outward expenditure of sexual energy.
So is sexual abstinence useful for Work or Not ?
It is useful if abstinence is in ALL CENTRES. If there is abstinence is in one Centre and full liberty of imagination in the others, then there could be nothing worse. Further abstinence is useful only if the man knows what to do with the energy he saves in this way. Otherwise nothing can be gained.
What is abuse of the sex centre ?
It means wrong work of the centres in relation to sex. That is action of sex centre through other centres and action of other centres through the sex centre. Or the action of the sex centre from the energy borrowed from the other centres or the action of other centres from the energy borrowed from the sex centre.
Can you explain little more?
Remember that sex centre works with Hydrogen 12. This means that it is stronger and quicker than other centres.The energy of the sex centre that is not used remains and passes on to the other centres. Finding expression for itself through them. ( As Mme De Salzman would say if its not taken by the higher it will be taken by the lower).
The energy of the sex centre in the work of the thinking, emotional and moving centre can be recognized by a particular “taste”, by a vehemence which the affair concerned does not call for.
What must be done to struggle against the “abuse of sex” ?
Right work on neself begins with the creation of a permanent centre of gravity. The role of the sex centre in creation of a permanent centre of gravity can be very BIG. According to its energy, that is to say, if it uses its own energy(meaning I think, just being conscious of it as itself and not thru another centre) the sex centre stands on a level with the higher emotional centre. This alone will indicate a comparatively high level of being. And in this case if the sex centre worked with its own energy and in its own place, all other centres could work correctly in their places and with their own energies.
Can sex be regarded as an independent centre?
It can. And if ALL THE LOWER STOREY IS TAKEN AS ONE WHOLE,THEN SEX CAN BE REGARDED AS THE NEUTRALISING PART OF THE MOVING CENTRE.
What is meant by mechanicalness with respect to sex energy ?
Everything that people do is connected with sex. Politics, religion, art, theatre, music, is all sex. Do you think people go to the theatre or church to pray or to see some play? That is only for the sake of appearances. The principal thing is that theatre as well in the church is that there will be lots of women and lots of men.
Mechanicalness is especially dangerous when people try to explain it by something else and not what it really is. When sex is clearly conscious of itself and does not cover itself up anything else. ..On the contrary sex which exists by itself(without self image? fantasies?) and is not dependant on anything else is already a great achievement.
What is si 12 and its role ?
Hydrogen Si 12 is the hydrogen which represents the final product of the transformation of food in the human organism.This is the matter with which sex works. And which sex manufactures. It is the Seed and the Fruit.
What is the “dual nature” of the shock at Si 12?
Hydrogen Si 12 can pass into the Do of the next octave with the help of an additional shock. But this shock can be of a dual nature and different Octaves can begin. One outside the organism and one in the organism iself.
The union of male and female Si 12.constitutes the shock of the First kind and the new octave begins with its help and develops independently as a new life. This is the natural way the use the energy of Si 12.
But in the same organism there is a further possibility
What is the further possibility?
This is the possibility of creating a new life “Within” the organism in which the S1 12 has been manufactured, without the union of the two principles, the male and the female.
A new octave then develops within the organism not outside it. This is the birth of the Astral Body. You must understand that the astral body is born of the same material of the same matter as the physical body, only the process is different.
How is the Astral Body created?
The whole of the physical body all its cells are so to speak permeated by emanations of the matter Si12. And when they have become sufficiently saturated the matter Si12 begins to crystalise. The crystallization of this matter constitutes formation of the “Astral Body.”( is this what the tantric practices aim for?) Formation of the Astral Body is possible only in a healthy normally functioning organism.
So is complete sexual abstinence the answer?
Firstly sexual abstinence is necessary for transmutation only in certain cases that is for certain types of people.
For others it is not at all necessary.
For certain types a long and complete sexual abstinence is necessary for transmutation to begin. But once it has begun abstinence is no longer necessary.
In other cases it does not require abstinence but once begun, tansmutation takes all the sexual energy putting an end of normal sexual life or the outward expenditure of sexual energy.
So is sexual abstinence useful for Work or Not ?
It is useful if abstinence is in ALL CENTRES. If there is abstinence is in one Centre and full liberty of imagination in the others, then there could be nothing worse. Further abstinence is useful only if the man knows what to do with the energy he saves in this way. Otherwise nothing can be gained.
What is abuse of the sex centre ?
It means wrong work of the centres in relation to sex. That is action of sex centre through other centres and action of other centres through the sex centre. Or the action of the sex centre from the energy borrowed from the other centres or the action of other centres from the energy borrowed from the sex centre.
Can you explain little more?
Remember that sex centre works with Hydrogen 12. This means that it is stronger and quicker than other centres.The energy of the sex centre that is not used remains and passes on to the other centres. Finding expression for itself through them. ( As Mme De Salzman would say if its not taken by the higher it will be taken by the lower).
The energy of the sex centre in the work of the thinking, emotional and moving centre can be recognized by a particular “taste”, by a vehemence which the affair concerned does not call for.
What must be done to struggle against the “abuse of sex” ?
Right work on neself begins with the creation of a permanent centre of gravity. The role of the sex centre in creation of a permanent centre of gravity can be very BIG. According to its energy, that is to say, if it uses its own energy(meaning I think, just being conscious of it as itself and not thru another centre) the sex centre stands on a level with the higher emotional centre. This alone will indicate a comparatively high level of being. And in this case if the sex centre worked with its own energy and in its own place, all other centres could work correctly in their places and with their own energies.
Can sex be regarded as an independent centre?
It can. And if ALL THE LOWER STOREY IS TAKEN AS ONE WHOLE,THEN SEX CAN BE REGARDED AS THE NEUTRALISING PART OF THE MOVING CENTRE.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Quote
Two similar quotes :-
Man is not a note. He is a complete octave. His feet on the ground and his head in the heavens.
Now here's a quote that is so amazing " May your roots find water and the leaves the sun".
Man is not a note. He is a complete octave. His feet on the ground and his head in the heavens.
Now here's a quote that is so amazing " May your roots find water and the leaves the sun".
Right now
Right now, I can sense a suffering. Its closest physical aspect is a kind of a ache in the nerves. Is this like stuff given to me to purify? While I feel the ache, I dont feel the resistance or the need to escape this. I watch the ache. Then I watch the "I". And wonder. What the hell is all this? THe I quickly now does not exist. Just the ache and the awareness of the ache. Then if I disappears, then what is the focal point and the starting point of all activity? Like breathing. Who is breathing? Am I passive as I watch or is there a part of me that is also doing? What is the form of me who is the passive watcher? Am I formless? All I know is I exist..or if I is imaginary..then existence is? what the hell is all this..
Saturday, June 28, 2008
EavesDropping
Can I hear my voice while speaking or reading ?
Can I overhear my thoughts while Im thinking?
-Pentland
Can I overhear my thoughts while Im thinking?
-Pentland
Energy aspect of material
Lord Pentland says "Seeing is the energy aspect of material. Not the forms aspect."
How can i experience this world from the energy aspect of materials, as opposed to the form aspect?
Is this by sensation? Each time a visual - happy, sad, sensual, cruel - strikes my eye ? In addition to the forms aspect that is captured by the senses can i sense its trace on my body?
Is this also something to do with the place of my "I" ?
And then the non-visual imagery - taste of food, dreams,thoughts and so on..?
How can I now include the energy aspect of everything I experience on the material?
How can i experience this world from the energy aspect of materials, as opposed to the form aspect?
Is this by sensation? Each time a visual - happy, sad, sensual, cruel - strikes my eye ? In addition to the forms aspect that is captured by the senses can i sense its trace on my body?
Is this also something to do with the place of my "I" ?
And then the non-visual imagery - taste of food, dreams,thoughts and so on..?
How can I now include the energy aspect of everything I experience on the material?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wake up insights from Lord Pentland
"Seeling mechanicalness as a force".
"There are different qualities of attention."
"You need to observe your attention.."
"The wish is your only initiative"
"If a method is fixed it cant be active ".
"There are different qualities of attention."
"You need to observe your attention.."
"The wish is your only initiative"
"If a method is fixed it cant be active ".
New Direction - Guidance from Universe
I continue to get incredible support from the Universe.
Excerpt from Lord Pentland.
Question :Would you suggest that one select some aim in the morning some proper method to pursue to accomplish development of essence ?
Answer: I dont see how your question relates-making the same old good intention. What is not mechanical about what you say?....
Then a quote.. (maybe on a question of what do we work on..?)
" We study ourselves in relation to sleep and waking...."
Then..."nothing resulted in attempting too much.."
It appears that the search itself cannot be mechanical at this stage for me. Mechanical from a stand point of tasks versus achievement. Its now got to be intuitive and really to study how alive or asleep I am at all time. Yet I need an anchor frm self deception. The body can be of help. Witnessing and sensing. In a way setting it the way it is formulated also is mechanical. What is not mechanical I guess cannot be formulated.
Excerpt from Lord Pentland.
Question :Would you suggest that one select some aim in the morning some proper method to pursue to accomplish development of essence ?
Answer: I dont see how your question relates-making the same old good intention. What is not mechanical about what you say?....
Then a quote.. (maybe on a question of what do we work on..?)
" We study ourselves in relation to sleep and waking...."
Then..."nothing resulted in attempting too much.."
It appears that the search itself cannot be mechanical at this stage for me. Mechanical from a stand point of tasks versus achievement. Its now got to be intuitive and really to study how alive or asleep I am at all time. Yet I need an anchor frm self deception. The body can be of help. Witnessing and sensing. In a way setting it the way it is formulated also is mechanical. What is not mechanical I guess cannot be formulated.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
New DIrection for my search
In a Group meeting Michel De Salzmann said that the Higher needs to act on myself. THis is more important than myself making efforts and the like, as Ouspensky emphasises.
The Latter is more exoteric, it is all right in the beginning and not later.
Ouspensky does not talk about sensations,movements or attention. So the work may become psychological.
Now something new is needed.
Receptive Attention
Rather than Active effort or
Wrong Super Effort.
In another meeting with Michel,I mentioned to him that I was thinking of writing on ahimsa, non-violation and yagna, sacrifice and exchange of energies between levels. He said that he has been much interested in NON MANIPULATIONS and how to
LET THE HIGHER HAVE AN ACTION UPON ONESELF.
This is where he feels that an emphasis on Effort, Super Effort and such can be MISLEADING.
Sacrifice of one's ego-self allows an exchange with higher levels. THis is the real issue of effort.
It cannot be spoken about but needs to be practiced in response to a conscious demand.
(-Ravi Ravindra ..Heart without Measure)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Eye for I
The lower I - that seem to be accompanied by the self image and the personality is an interesting study.
There seems to be certain energies that the physical body comes in contact with with help from the lower I.
FOr example the pleasure waves that surges inside the body when one receives attention or praise. It appears that without this lower I, sexual orgasm would be impossible. FEar too.
Then do wen need the lower or fake I to have any experience of any sort?
I feel that thankfully that there experiences that dont need the lower I - the personality. Like sensation of joy when one eats a delicious mango or a sweet, the joy of a massage, the pleasure of a perfume..
HEre there is pure sensation. I guess that is why the Work keeps a lot of focus on sensations. It appears more objective.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Between effort and letting go
It has been a week of torment. One one end, I feel my time is running out. Im not trying enough. Ive not put my life on the line for my search. And then so much clarity from Ravi-ji.
"Dying to oneself is not easy. It is dying to all my habits, accumulations and the whole of my past, dying to everything I know and have experienced. But none of this can be forced. Nor can it be undertaken with ambition as an ego project.
To some extent a deep-seated letting go is needed--almost as if I am not responsible for my life, my activities or my spiritual development.
I did not bring myself here. I could not possibly be here without the agreement, or even connivance, of the higher forces. So it is their concern and their problem. They can do with me what they wish and what they determine I need."
So this is what I need to practice. A DEEP SEATED LETTING GO. SO THE HIGHER FORCES WHO SENT ME HERE CAN DO WHAT THEY WISH TO DO WITH ME.
So then what is the RIGHT ACTION from my side ? Here Ravi-ji says.
"This is not a call to laziness or to resignation. It is much more a freedom from ego ambition. I accept myself as I am, not what I should be, and then I listen to the higher forces--which is the same as listening to deeper parts in myself--and I try to bend as they suggest.
Gradually I begin to see that dying to myself is dying to my habits of thought and feeling, to my self-importance, to my fears and to my suffering."
And then he talks about the way in which we practice this so it becomes a NEW WAY.
"Maybe I will die like a dog. Even this has to be accepted. Becoming anxious about it is not going to help. Disgust with the world or with myself and with the low-level quality of my efforts and my wiggling out or with my safety nets can impel me to work harder a little, but this does not have sufficient energy. What is needed is more and more opening to higher, and therefore more suitable and more potent, energy.
As Patañjali says in the Yoga Sutras, higher vairagya comes from a vision of Purusha; then something fundamental settles in my attitude towards the world and towards the worldly ambitions and fears in myself."
AND THEN HE SUMMARISES THE SEARCH WHICH FOR ME NOW IS A GOSPEL FOR THE FUTURE.
"We will not cease searching--sometimes with hesitation, sometimes with great impulse. Ours is only the search. We do not know whether we will reach the destination or not. We don't know what the destination is; we simply imagine it. Perhaps our imagination is based on what we have read in the scriptures or what we have heard from the sages. This imagination cannot be free of our own fears and ambitions. The fact is that we do not know. So we listen to ourselves again--and your e-mail is an expression of that listening and sharing with fellow searchers--and not lose heart; we stand up and begin our journey once again. We were brought here when the time was right, and we will be taken away when the time will be right. Then we will recommence our journey from where we will be at that time.
Ours is a journey without end. The end is either for the buddhas or for the dead stones. You and I are alive and we will persist--wondering, questioning, searching, resting periodically and then walking again."
Oh What Grace !
"Dying to oneself is not easy. It is dying to all my habits, accumulations and the whole of my past, dying to everything I know and have experienced. But none of this can be forced. Nor can it be undertaken with ambition as an ego project.
To some extent a deep-seated letting go is needed--almost as if I am not responsible for my life, my activities or my spiritual development.
I did not bring myself here. I could not possibly be here without the agreement, or even connivance, of the higher forces. So it is their concern and their problem. They can do with me what they wish and what they determine I need."
So this is what I need to practice. A DEEP SEATED LETTING GO. SO THE HIGHER FORCES WHO SENT ME HERE CAN DO WHAT THEY WISH TO DO WITH ME.
So then what is the RIGHT ACTION from my side ? Here Ravi-ji says.
"This is not a call to laziness or to resignation. It is much more a freedom from ego ambition. I accept myself as I am, not what I should be, and then I listen to the higher forces--which is the same as listening to deeper parts in myself--and I try to bend as they suggest.
Gradually I begin to see that dying to myself is dying to my habits of thought and feeling, to my self-importance, to my fears and to my suffering."
And then he talks about the way in which we practice this so it becomes a NEW WAY.
"Maybe I will die like a dog. Even this has to be accepted. Becoming anxious about it is not going to help. Disgust with the world or with myself and with the low-level quality of my efforts and my wiggling out or with my safety nets can impel me to work harder a little, but this does not have sufficient energy. What is needed is more and more opening to higher, and therefore more suitable and more potent, energy.
As Patañjali says in the Yoga Sutras, higher vairagya comes from a vision of Purusha; then something fundamental settles in my attitude towards the world and towards the worldly ambitions and fears in myself."
AND THEN HE SUMMARISES THE SEARCH WHICH FOR ME NOW IS A GOSPEL FOR THE FUTURE.
"We will not cease searching--sometimes with hesitation, sometimes with great impulse. Ours is only the search. We do not know whether we will reach the destination or not. We don't know what the destination is; we simply imagine it. Perhaps our imagination is based on what we have read in the scriptures or what we have heard from the sages. This imagination cannot be free of our own fears and ambitions. The fact is that we do not know. So we listen to ourselves again--and your e-mail is an expression of that listening and sharing with fellow searchers--and not lose heart; we stand up and begin our journey once again. We were brought here when the time was right, and we will be taken away when the time will be right. Then we will recommence our journey from where we will be at that time.
Ours is a journey without end. The end is either for the buddhas or for the dead stones. You and I are alive and we will persist--wondering, questioning, searching, resting periodically and then walking again."
Oh What Grace !
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Rite Now
Having experienced the joy of present moment it is hard to not to want to repeat it. This happened when I landed at Hyderabad airport and suddenly there was this excitement of watching what will happen next in my life. It was like watching a reality show not knowing what next. Sometimes a face pops up, a car passes by, the cell fone rings. It was an amazing experience. I wonder why I often kill this by getting lots in thoughts.
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