David Young on Mrs. Welch

Louise Welch — Essence Friend

by David A. Young

“There is nothing as precious to me as the support of the work of people in the Work—nothing!”

“So often when people discover a ruling passion, they want only to get rid of it—to be more comfortable.”

“I have never felt or seen an effort of work that did not change the atmosphere.”

“It is a big step to come to the understanding that we need to learn to think.”

“My search is your search. We each have a common wish to find out—to find who we are and the direction in which we can grow.”

“Real faith is not the opposite of doubt. It is an affirmation of being.”

“The stronger the group, the stronger the personalities.”

~ • ~

When I first met Mrs. Welch in 1960, she was fifty-five years of age, and I was twenty-one. Until she died forty years later, she was my teacher. Nevertheless, she remains a mystery to me. I cannot say that I knew her. If it is true that we cannot see above the level of our own being, then I could see only a fraction of who she really was. In preparing this article, I reviewed videotapes and notes of many meetings with her. It is clear now that we understood only part of what she said then. We were helped, and felt grateful, but we took in only what our little cups could hold—and they were filled to overflowing. But it was often only much later, when we had more experience, that we could understand what she was giving us. I am still learning from her.
Mrs. Welch told us:

We need to know our subjectivity if we want to become available to another kind of experience. My observation is one thing, but to begin to recognize myself as a cosmic unit is more important. Usually there is a block. My relationship to others is cut.
The primary question is ‘What do I serve?’ I need to be hungry for a right connection with what is highest in me and what is highest in the Universe; so I have to see what the connections are. My inner sensations are a hint.
How are we to realize that work is not for what is most delightful, but for being. The change is not a change in dream states, but in being—a change in the harmonious balance which will affect the whole being.
I am dual, and it is true that sometimes I am one, and sometimes another. One part wishes to work and the other does not, but sometimes there is a sharp recognition that these two parts operate with their backs to one another. How to look and make an effort of presence to the existence of both?
If I function in the ordinary way, at the same rate of vibration, nothing will change. As long as my body is agitated I cannot experience the quiet that makes me aware of something deeper in myself. That is, I cannot receive higher impressions.

Mrs. Welch brought out the best in us. In her presence we would find that someone we thought of as arrogant, thoughtless, and insensitive would sometimes open up and bring the most moving and sensitive observations. We could not help but be touched, and to begin to look at our peers in a completely new way—full of wonder … until we forgot.
It seemed during periods of intensive work that she held us all, individually and collectively, in her attention. It was as if we were all imbued with a finer substance and began to vibrate at a quicker tempo. In those conditions, all aspects of our human nature were magnified.
What she said seemed to be very important, and it was not only in her words, but also in her tone of voice. She spoke with authority and compassion, and what she said had the ring of truth. All of her outward manifestations seemed to emanate from a central core of being—of presence.
Mrs. Welch told us:

Under the instruction of someone who knows, we try to remember ourselves by learning how to collect attention. We try to still any outer movements, we quiet the body. We begin to study where our attention has been caught in order to free it—free it from where it is caught in physical tension, in anxiety, in the constant flow of random thoughts. We try to draw together this fragmented substance we need for our work. Our work is in the direction of self-remembering—remembering the self as a whole. What I am going toward is the central feeling of myself: I am. I exist.
Without attention I do not exist. Always my attention is taken—by anything, by everything. It is taken. But it can be free. Collect attention, work for attention, learn to place your attention. When I make a serious effort to place my attention somewhere, relaxation begins, energies begin to take their correct place. The way begins to be opened for something other to appear.

Although it is possible to record many of the things she said, that is very different from her direct, oral communication. Dr. William J. Welch, Mrs. Welch’s husband, once said that if books alone could convey understanding, all the bookcases would be enlightened!
Both she and Dr. Welch were full of good humour, and there was always much laughter at our meetings. The Welches were serious, but not solemn or heavy, and when anyone spoke they turned the full light of their attention on that person. In replying to a question someone raised, Dr. Welch said the following:

It is necessary to be in touch with the preoccupations that prevent one from seeing. When I look at you, what is it that stands in the way of my seeing you? I am not there, I am preoccupied. While you are talking, I’m thinking of my answers—all that material—and I’m not listening, and I’m not aware that my attention is everywhere but on you. As a beginning, it’s an exercise in bringing my attention on you—really on you—right now. If I have a question about this, as I do now, and if you have a question, and if I stay with it, and you stay with it, we have an exchange that is almost permanent. That experience is almost eternal. If I can attend to you, and you can attend to me, something takes place that is joyful, and new, and nourishing, and alive.

Until Dr. Welch retired, we did not see him often in Toronto. It was Mrs. Welch who came almost every month from 1955 through to the late 1980s. We were her group. It was as if she planted seeds here and nurtured them for a long time, hoping that something would grow and begin to have its own life.
Mrs. Welch told us:

We all have moments of being awake, but we lose them quickly because we don’t value them. Something takes place, but it is out of my control. Something does pierce this shell. How can I know my way to it? If you want to know what this piercing effort is—it is my wish. There are moments when my wish can cut right through the protective armour and touch something real and authentic. Why are we not here—right now? It can happen in the twinkling of an eye.

When Dr. Welch started to come to Toronto, we began to appreciate how beautifully he and Mrs. Welch complemented one another, and so now it is not possible for me to write about Mrs. Welch without also writing about Dr. Welch. Speaking to our group in Toronto, Dr. Welch said:

We are always looking in the wrong place for purpose, for meaning. We are heavy-laden with this big, blind automaton. Only in moments when our functioning is slowed down does the unengaged purpose appear. What is our life for? What in hell are we doing here?
Mrs. Welch gently added, “What in heaven’s name are we doing here?”

One weekend when they were unable to come to Toronto, I was speaking to them both on the telephone. Mrs. Welch made me promise to give her love to everyone. She repeated this injunction. Then Dr. Welch’s deep voice full of humour said, “In my case, you can be more discriminating.”
Dr. Welch had a wonderful sense of humour, and a rapier wit. He and Mrs. Welch were being driven to our Group house in Toronto, via Bay Street, a route we had never taken before. At a certain point Mrs. Welch said, “Oh look, Bill. They have a Temperance Street in Toronto.” Dr. Welch looked about and said, “Yes, but you’ll notice they keep it at Bay!”
Most of us felt that Dr. Welch challenged us, and Mrs. Welch affirmed us, but they had both been through all the grindstones. Often it was Mrs. Welch who challenged. Yet there was from both of them an affirmation of what was best in us.
When Mrs. Welch first invited me to take responsibility for a group, she said, “This is work for you. You cannot help anyone. Try to see your lying.” Later I told her that I felt I was not able to carry this responsibility, but she told me this feeling was, in fact, almost a requirement of anyone who leads groups! “But, I feel entirely inadequate! What is my work here?”

Listen to the group. Practise listening. Listen to yourself, and suffer how you are. It is your work. When you begin to awaken, the first thing you will see is your sleep. As you begin to see your mechanicality, your reactions, they begin to have less power. Seeing is our work.
“But the people in the group also see my reactions, my faults, and this cannot be helpful to them.” She then said, “Mr. Gurdjieff never hid his faults.” I continue to ponder this response.

Mrs. Welch told us:

In order to be useful to anyone, I have to be. Otherwise I am just a reacting mechanism, a played instrument.
Before you can be more, you must be what you are. Being is how I am, the relation of the different parts held together by my awareness. Completed man is ‘in the image of God.’ We are incomplete. In us the centres are either mixed or confused, not blended. If we wish to go in the direction of being completely human, we must begin to see why we are not.
I do not know the life of my body … nor do I know the life of my feelings, nor my intellect, and I know even less about something much higher that also exists in me—although we have all had tastes of it. I am here to live not only in heaven, but also in my earthly part. Work first to see these two natures.
The ego has strength. It has acted as a lookout for a long time, and has looked after me well. It is self-preservation personified, but self-preservation of the small self. Now the ego begins to interfere with the growth of the Self.
If I try to control, I succeed only in repression. All my life I react. I must not try to suppress my reactions, not pretend they don’t exist, not cover them with hypocrisy. I must know myself at that moment, and not run away. The first step is to pay attention to the reaction. When we see, something changes because of this light.
We are all stronger than we think we are, but not stronger than we imagine we are. I pretend that I am strong, which isn’t true, but the feeling that I cannot, is not true either. Where is my area of choice? It is in the effort of being more attentive, more interested—of giving an objective look at what is going on, while it is going on. This is what I wish—it is a moment of awareness while I am experiencing. The experience is not separate, but it is difficult to talk about it in any other way. It is so simple. It is just being here. Just being.
For a long time, I measure everything I see in myself against an image of what I think I should be. It is impossible to see from there. If I do see something, I immediately want to change it. I do not want to be like that, and so I do not stay with what I have seen. I must develop the courage to stay with that. Do I really wish to be free, or only to avoid glimpses of my slavery?

Dr. Welch never hesitated to let the air out of our inflated expressions. A very serious and relatively senior member of our group said, “All my life I have given to others!” Dr. Welch said, “You have never given anyone anything. Always others have taken from you.” It was a piercing insight, and the person who had spoken immediately saw that it was true.
Mrs. Welch especially encouraged us to see the positive side of things. For example, if we began to see our lack of gratitude, we would be full of regret, but she helped us to see that, paradoxically, we were never so close to feeling real gratitude as when we saw our ingratitude. She also shepherded us away from taking ourselves too seriously. As always, Dr. Welch used other means to help us to see our crocodile tears. One woman who almost always wept whenever she made some observation was described by Dr. Welch as being “too damned damp.”
Whenever we called Mrs. Welch our teacher, she said:

No. Do not call me ‘teacher.’ Mr. Gurdjieff was a teacher. We are all in the same boat. Those who have been working longer may have experienced more, and so may be able to act as a guide for those with less experience, but we are not teachers.

A number of us who had been in the Work long enough to begin to take on minor leadership roles as team leaders were invited to the Gurdjieff Foundation’s country house in Armonk, New York. There was a large number of people there who had just recently entered the Work. In his introduction on the morning of the first day, Lord Pentland said, “We have all come here because we are asleep, and wish to awaken.” I remember thinking at the time that the head of the Work in New York should not be telling all these new people that he also is asleep! However, he was expressing the same idea that Mrs. Welch had brought to us.
Dr. Welch said that the Work was not intended to create angels, but real human beings. We needed to see all sides of our being. In my very first meeting with Mrs. Welch, one of the other newcomers said that when she was singing in her church choir, she sometimes saw angels. Mrs. Welch said, “You also have to see the devils.”
On another occasion she said:

We are not interested in psychic phenomena, though many of us have experienced them. We are not interested merely in the experience of beautiful emotional fireworks. Our effort is in the direction of trying to be. Work on myself has to do with the relation of inner and outer. Sometimes one goes so deeply inside that one forgets the outer. My work is related to both. Our aim is not to dwell in Nirvana. It is to live and work in life.

After I had been part of her group for a few years, I remember telling Mrs. Welch that I was no longer afraid of her. She said only the word, “Oh,” but her tone was such that I quickly reconsidered my remark! In the early years, she often took us to task. She said later that it was necessary to test people, before giving them responsibility. She encouraged us to question her, not to accept what she said without verifying for ourselves. After many years, she began to let us make our own mistakes, and trusted us to learn from them. There was never any sentimentality, but there was an undercurrent that we came to recognize, in part, as love. She sometimes said, “Love never faileth.” She used this word rarely, and we could sense that it was full of many levels of meaning that were far above what we usually meant whenever we used the word. She gave us the impression that love was the highest energy of all—that all of us, and all of the created world sprang from this source.
She often encouraged us to work whole-heartedly, emphasizing the importance of compassion. Nevertheless, she did not disparage the mind, but rather encouraged us to give our “best thought” to the ideas of the Gurdjieff teaching. One of Gurdjieff’s central ideas is “being-Partkdolg-duty,” that is to say, “conscious-labours and intentional sufferings.” One summer at Armonk, in an evening discussion, she asked me to say how I understood the idea of conscious labour. I felt it was too easy to say simply, “I don’t know”—even though this would be the most accurate response—so I offered an answer which came from I know not where. Mrs. Welch did not question my comment. Instead, she went on to ask, “What is intentional suffering?” Before I could answer, Dr. Welch said, “You’d better quit while you’re ahead!” I did.
I recall on another occasion speaking to Dr. Welch about the ideas. Trying to make the point that what I was speaking about was not my own experience, I said, “Of course these ideas are only theoretical.” Dr. Welch quickly stopped me in my tracks. “It is you who are theoretical. The ideas are real.”
Mrs. Welch was the chief editor of the “Guide and Index to G. I. Gurdjieff’s All and Everything.” Those of us who worked with her on this project found that it became a central vehicle for our work. In her preface to this book, she wrote:

Gurdjieff speaks to the whole of a man at once, and we are unaccustomed to that call. This guide and index to All and Everything is the effort of a small group of people to move towards meeting this demand… We began with the realization that the meaning of Gurdjieff’s book will not open to conceptual attack, but requires thought and feeling of quite another kind... We discovered that one word would become a thread to the whole teaching as it wove through explanations, parables and humorous anecdotes attaching to itself more and more clusters of meaning. One of us would declare that the clue to the book was the word ‘being’; another pursued ‘conscience’ and a third, Mullah Nassr Eddin, who sometimes appeared to all of us as the key to the character of Beelzebub himself.

She also wrote the script of a musical play based on the legend of The Juggler of Notre Dame.¹ It was performed under that title in Toronto, and under the title of The Clown of God ² in Halifax. A poster from the 1976 production in Toronto says, in part, “Spend a magical four hours in the Middle Ages. Wander and shop among the craft-laden stalls of a medieval street market and sample the authentic fare of the town inn. Mingle with minstrels, monks and mummers as the miracle of The Juggler of Notre Dame unfolds around you.”
Most of us from Mrs. Welch’s groups in New York, Halifax, and Toronto took part. We produced the craft goods, cooked the food, built the sets, made the costumes, learned music, practiced juggling and tumbling, and learned our lines. In both Halifax and Toronto, we worked almost around the clock for several days leading up to, during and after the performance. Mrs. Welch always insisted that we leave any place in better condition than it had been when we arrived; so actors and musicians and all, we finished with brooms, and dust cloths and mops in our hands after the crowds had dispersed. When we sometimes hinted that there was not enough time in our busy lives for all the demands of the group activities, she would remind us that one always seemed to be able to find time for a love affair…
Although the play was a great “success,” it was for all of us, primarily, a vehicle for the Work. The emphasis was not on the destination, but on the journey. Sometimes it did feel like a love affair… sometimes!
It was during these times of great intensity of Work that she passed on special material that we needed. She understood that only in these conditions of Work would it be possible for us to take in such material.
Mrs. Welch told us:

There is something we need to learn about effort: effort is not strain. Maybe I could realize this if my relaxation were deeper. I wish there were a word other than ‘relaxation.’ The closest I can come to is ‘letting go’ of the ego; so that I can touch another layer, a much truer one. Our search is not for miraculous results—not to achieve a result, but to learn a process.
There is a struggle between my wish to gather my attention and my body’s habit of going on with its associations. I cannot fight directly, but I can draw my attention back to my work.
When touching a deeper level, I do not try to do, I watch. There is nothing I can do, I can only try to be. ‘I am here,’ very quietly alert. I try to follow this. It moves in a very quiet inner way, something is touched. It takes place, it has come.

Although she was generous in providing us with clues that would help us in our struggles, she understood that we had to do the work ourselves, and also that there was no point in providing us with a direction until we had come to that point in our journey where a particular direction was needed, and where we were asking for help. Sometimes in a meeting, she would say, after someone asked a question, “Ah! I have been waiting a long time for this question.”
Mrs. Welch told us:

What is this combination of ‘I’s’ which inhabit me? There are many of them. One is a bore, one tries to impress, one has profound opinions—but underneath, something knows all this is a lie. We have to recognize as a fact that we are put into motion by whatever, or whoever, presses the button. We are continually the prey of influences. This is the human situation. Influences impinge upon me and my organism reacts. My reactions are always passive, but if there is something active in me to meet them, I have a chance. Ordinarily, I am attacked by a thousand ‘I’s.’ When I try even just to pick up this cup with intention, it is almost as if the thousand ‘I’s’ are reduced to two—yes, and no. The effort to undertake something intentionally is an enormous help.
Where is my centre of gravity? It shifts, now here, now there, but it is not related to the central fact of my existence. I need to find that relationship. I need to find ways of returning to it so that it circulates to all my functioning parts. What I wish for is my essential root—to be living in myself and related to the whole of me.
There is a real difference between knowing and believing. This Work is not based on believing, but on working toward being open to what is higher. The higher possibilities are already in us, waiting, but we have not found the connection.

On one occasion Dr. and Mrs. Welch were unable to come to a period of intensive work in Halifax. For years they had been there every summer with their two Canadian groups from Halifax and Toronto, plus several people from their groups in New York. This was the first time they were not able to come. In fact they were never to come to either Toronto or Halifax after this because of the state of Mrs. Welch’s health. Several of us were in communication with Dr. Welch by phone during this Work period. Once I told him that we felt they were there with us. On impulse, I then asked facetiously, if he and Mrs. Welch felt that all of us at the Work period in Halifax were with them in their apartment in New York! His serious answer took me by surprise. “Yes” he said, “Much has been deposited in both directions.” Over the years since then, many of us have felt that this is truly so, and hence although they are no longer able to advise us directly, what they have deposited in us is still there for us to call upon.
On that same occasion, in response to a question concerning the necessity for group work, Dr. Welch said something that has since become an aphorism for us: “The Work is my independent participation in an interdependent process.”
Mrs. Welch said that Dr. Welch had a long-lasting love affair with the English language. As he spoke, he seemed to be searching for just the right word, the exactly turned phrase. What he said was often alive, and fresh, and memorable. In contrast, although I might be expressing the same ideas, I usually felt my words were careless cliches, and I aspired to speak as he did.
Mrs. Welch also loved language, and seemed to have the kind of mind that retained everything she read. She often quoted poetry, psalms, and passages from literature. One of her favourite poems was “God’s Grandeur” by Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–1889):

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil; It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod? Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil; And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod. And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

She said:

Why is it that when I look at my daily life, I almost never see that it is extraordinary; that I have a life and that I am living in an extraordinary body. Being alive is a miracle, and I am unaware of it most of the time.

Later she said:

Shakespeare’s description of the seven ages of man provides a good picture of the descending octave of the physical body. The body will die… What in us can continue?

She often taught us without words. The care she took in laying the table for a meal affected us, and we would find ourselves later taking the same care when sweeping a floor, or washing dishes. When she watched us as we worked on crafts, or cooking, or construction, it sometimes seemed that she lent us her attention. Seeing that it was possible to work in that way, with care, helped us later to find that quality on our own. She said:

There is a direct relationship between care and the attention I give. I see that when I care very much, I gain attention.

She sometimes told us what she called “secrets,” and I remember thinking, “Surely, if she tells us, they will no longer be secrets.” Later, I saw that what she told us was a secret, and it might take a long time before we understood what she had said.
Mrs. Welch told us:

If I could really remember myself, much of me would be affected. Anger would take its proper place. Unknown territory exists in me, it is real. If I try to be open to its influence, the Work works in me. Certainly with my little self I cannot change. I will start each day with preparation, opening myself to help. We cannot complain when we do not receive, because it is we who hinder.
Do not try to change. Study. When you work, something drops away of itself.
When you see anxiety, acknowledge to yourself in your own way how you are, and try not to run away, but to be in it more. Sense it more, see how you are inside, and try to see the distribution of your tensions. Then make a strong effort of relaxation, and try to come to some affirmation of yourself at the end of this.
Better one five-minute effort that is true and intense, and real, than a whole day of ‘porridgy’ dreaming that you are remembering yourself. Only that which you have earned and verified many, many times, through effort, can be yours.

One of the weekends when she was in Toronto after all the scheduled meetings and activities were over, on a Sunday evening, Mrs. Welch invited me to spend some time with her alone. It was a rare privilege. I had been feeling disheartened, and perhaps she had noticed my state. We met just for an hour or so. Our exchange was quite light. We touched on no weighty topics that I can remember. Nevertheless, her words and her attention seemed to embrace, and penetrate, and heal.
The next morning she returned to New York, and I went off to my office. After a long and difficult day, I was walking home and noticed that my posture was slumped; there was a frown on my face; my mind was churning over the events of the day; there was no spring in my step. Then quite miraculously, I became aware of a feeling in my chest that did not at all correspond to my outer state. It was something joyful, completely carefree, untouched and unconcerned with the petty cares of my day. The thought flashed through my mind that Mrs. Welch had deposited this something in me the night before.
Mrs. Welch told us:

Mr. Gurdjieff brought this knowledge to us in a very direct way. It will take us a long time to assimilate. His rate was so much faster and deeper than ours. But his pupils are gradually understanding more and more—trying to live his teaching. He brought us the need to understand and to search as deeply as we can—never to accept too easily even our own experience, but to try to understand that the way to the source of our own energy, our own truth, is a process. We will change very much in that process, and only by trying to understand it will we begin to return to it—to grow and develop in a many-sided way.
How to make an effort of attention? For a very long time, all our efforts are full of tension and strain. We need to learn gradually to let go.
Trying to divide our attention is an experiment. It is not a state of self-remembering. Self-remembering is a blended attention—the attention of the real mind, the true feeling, and the cooperation of the instinctive/moving parts. There is a division between what represents ‘I’ and what represents my organism and functions. In order to study that, we try to divide our attention, but that is just one step. I am searching for something more inclusive, more whole. If I am in touch with my essential passion for truth, this helps me to call upon that effort of attention which includes thought, feeling and sensation. When for a moment that fusion takes place, I experience myself as a whole.
Begin to feel the relation between inner and outer life. It is necessary to see the reality of the inner life and have contact with it, but we must be present to both inner and outer.
In one state, we lie and are not aware of it. In another state, we lie and know it, but cannot stop. In still another state we struggle with the impulse. See how in all these states the disposition of the parts is different in us. When one is aware, one notices much sooner. It is interesting that on a higher level the quickness is such that one notices before there is any manifestation of action, thought, or emotion.
A strong state of attention is joy. One feels wholly engaged, and that is what the human heart desperately wishes.
We live within a very small emotional range. We think we are experiencing a strong emotion when we become angry, but there is a whole range of emotions that we never touch. We read of compassion, faith, hope, but these are just words to us. We don’t live on that level. All of our experiments are for the purpose of making valid contacts with the higher centres, not something we experience now and then, or read about in books, but something permanent that is our own.

Less than a decade ago, we bought a country place just outside of Toronto so that we could have a place for our summer work periods. The Welches at this time were no longer coming to visit their Canadian groups. On the first day of our first period, both Dr. and Mrs. Welch asked, “Why are you doing this?” My automatic answer was that we valued these periods of intensive work. I telephoned them every day to tell them what was taking place, and to get their advice. They continued to ask me why we were having an intensive work period in Toronto. Gradually, it began to occur to me that we had no idea what we were doing. There was no doubt that Dr. and Mrs. Welch could conduct a work period, but who were we to attempt such an undertaking?
This question worked on me, mercilessly. Gradually it became painfully clear that I did not understand any of the knowledge I had accumulated over the years. I understood nothing! It was a devastating realization. I began to feel the weight of responsibility and to approach a state of despair. I felt very deeply—as never before or since—that I needed help. Then in the midst of this state, I felt that help came—not just to me, but to all of us. I felt real gratitude to Dr. and Mrs. Welch for guiding us, and goading us, and putting our feet to the fire.
Mrs. Welch told us:

The more I see my helplessness, the more I feel the need to be in touch with the source of energy. I begin, thinking I can do the Work. It takes time to see my helplessness. A real cry for help does not fail, but it has to be real at the moment, not in retrospect.
The times when we do receive something must not be underestimated. They are real. When we reach a state of deep quiet, when we touch another level of energy, it is very difficult, impossible, to move into our daily activities with that full circulation of energy. Yet it is possible to have some link with that state.
Somewhere I know that if I can be open enough, another force of a higher vibration rate can begin to enter that changes everything—my understanding of my presence here, my relationship to others and to the different parts of myself. How can I help to make myself more available for this energy, more open to this energy? It does not depend solely on my wish. It is not so much that I bring an influence, but that an influence comes.

I was not able to attend Mrs. Welch’s funeral. Patty Welch Llosa, Mrs. Welch’s daughter, asked me if I would write a eulogy to be read on that occasion. I wrote the following passage which represents, perhaps, the essence of this article:

Early in my life I met Mrs. Welch, and that has made all the difference.
I have often called Patty my sister and she has called me her brother because we are both children of Mrs. Welch. She had a large family, a whole tribe in fact. What is written here may therefore sound quite familiar. Many of us had the same experiences. Nevertheless each one of us felt we had a special place in her heart: that she saw me, knew me, cared about my potential, spoke to me. And so each of us wished to try with our best effort to follow her direction with a passion. She often quoted Orage’s description: “Man is in essence a passion for understanding the meaning and aim of existence.”
We have been so lucky, so fortunate to have been part of her circle.
She inspired us; she called forth talents we didn’t know we had; she dared to trust us with precious burdens that buckled our knees, bent our backs, and strengthened us. Big projects such as the Guide and Index, A Journal of Our Time, The Juggler of Notre Dame in Toronto, The Clown of God in Halifax, called us to super-efforts. It wasn’t just the daring ideas she had. It was not even the wisdom of her words when she responded to our questions. It was her being that shone through and fed us directly. It sparkled in her eyes, it emanated from her posture, her movements, her voice, and it fed us directly—without our even knowing it at the time.
We shall miss her.
At the same time I know that she has deposited in me something of her own being which is not inert. It is alive and essential.
She is our essence friend.

New Exercises

How can I do subtle Work? Is Subtle work like the Buddhist mindful meditations? To just keep watching all that is happening?
Let me try this process for a month and try:

1. To watch the belly rise and fall with breathing. To sense the breathing in a continuity but try being 'there' at the turning point.

2. To watch transitions of sensations in the body when moving from one posture to another -even opening the eyes post a sitting.
3. To fully experience the sensations in the body while eating.
4. To experience the sensation before speaking.
5. Watch the sensation while walking.

I will now document this as a log every day

I need to renew my vow of truthfullness. I am diluting this already within a few weeks.

November 11th:

My first log today Nov 11th

1. The new direction for my work is to keep an inner attention always. Especially when I am on the phone as well as speaking to people. Today so far (3:30 pm) I have been unsuccessful.

Tao-ist Sublimation - Lynn Osborn

Lynn OSBORN
Three Gems of Alchemical Initiation
Part 1: Powers of Transformation


One of ONE
What is the alchemical laboratory? What is alchemical spiritual development? The answer is that the alchemical laboratory can be any system that cooks up alchemical energy.
Alchemical spiritual development depends upon the consumption of useful power. The Taoist alchemists have given us the best revelations about useful power. This alchemical manna comes in three flavors in a paradox. Though the three flavors are different they are one and the same. And you cannot have one without the others.
The Taoist alchemists called these powers chi, ching and shen. Chi, we will call continuation power. Ching, we will call creation power. Shen, we will call manifestation power. One circulates Chi power; one sublimates Ching power; one distills Shen power. Lu K’uan Yu, Taoist alchemist (born 1898) said in, Taoist Yoga Alchemy and Immortality, "You should sublimate the three precious elements, namely the generative force [ching], (vital) breath [chi] and spirit [shen] to restore their original strength and the foundation will be laid when these three elements unite; only then can immortality be attained."
The concept of chi is more familiar to Western pilgrims than ching or shen. Ti Chi and the martial arts are based on physical exercises that enhance the circulation of chi in the practitioner's body. Every living being circulates chi power to continue existence. For humans breathing air into the physical body unconsciously and automatically circulates chi. Lu K’uan Yu said concerning Gathering the Microcosmic Outer Alchemical Agent, "The human body is like a rootless tree and relies solely on the breath as root and branches. The outer alchemical agent is produced by means of fresh air breathed in and out, laying the foundation (chu chi)."
You must become conscious of the circulating chi in order to develop spiritual power. When you are conscious of chi circulation you will become aware of your subtle body. You can apprehend the subtle body by sublimating ching or distilling shen. Everyone does these things unconsciously and automatically, but you must become conscious of the sublimations and distillations. This is much more difficult than becoming aware of circulating chi. So circulation of chi is the initial alchemical gemstone. Indeed, many people learned to circulate chi consciously through practices taught by various esoteric schools. Some Rosicrucian societies in the West and Hindu sects in the East have taught breathing exercises that consciously circulate chi. Alchemy refers to circulating chi as inner circulation.
By inner circulation I mean that system of movement existing in contrast and complement to the physical systems within the human organism. There are the circulatory system, nervous system, respiratory system and other biological systems that are studied by biology and medicine. These biophysical systems generate within their networks complex psychic systems that precipitate behavior which is studied by the social and behavioral sciences. The complex psychic systems congeal perceptions and sentiments that direct the movement of the organism as a whole be it fortuitous or disastrous.
Alchemically speaking the biophysical and psychic systems in the human organism have a subtle counterpart that is necessary for them to exist. That subtle counterpart is the inner circulation, and it is metamorphic just as the psychic system is a metamorphic condition generated by the biophysical system.
The Emerald Tablet is the prima materia of alchemical initiation. Imbedded within this brief gem is the process to initiate the inner circulation. The inner circulation is described in detail by the Taoist alchemists and to a lesser extent the Hindu alchemists. The Rosicrucians in the West also taught the separation of chi from the oxygen molecule in the breath of air in order to power the inner circulation (Rosicrucians never called It chi.).
I have been practicing the inner circulation for over twenty years. It is as safe and natural as walking and running. In fact practicing the inner circulation will stabilize energy imbalances of all kinds that may afflict the microcosm of the operator.
The Emerald Tablet is the oldest Western text yet found that contains the breathing exercises that can power the inner circulation with chi or Outer Microcosmic quintessence. The Smagdarine gem offers much more than an esoteric breathing exercise. It’s a transcendental map that expands as the energy of the inner circulation expands within the operator.
Emerald Tablet:
‘Tis true without falsehood, and most real: that which is above is like that which is below, to perpetrate the miracles of One thing.  And as all things have been derived from One, by the thought of One, so all things are born from One by adoption.
The Sun is Its father; the Moon is Its mother.  The Earth is Its nurse; the belly of the Wind carries It.  Here is the essence of every Perfection in the world.  Its strength and power prevail when turned into earth; thou wilt separate the earth from fire, the subtle from the gross, gently and with great care.
It ascends from earth to heaven, descends again to earth and receives the power of the higher and the lower.  By this means, thou wilt have the glory of the world.  And because of this, all obscurity will flee from thee.  Within this is the power, most powerful of all powers.  For It will overcome all subtle things, and penetrate every solid thing.  Thus the world was created.  Wonderful adaptations will emerge from this; It is the Way.
And for this reason, I am called Hermes Trismegistus, having the three parts of the philosophy of the world.  What I have said of the Sun’s operations is complete.
The first paragraph describes the unifying Principle in the universe. The ontology of One is listed to help focus the pilgrim on the way of transcendence. The second and third paragraphs tell you where It is and how to move It and what powered metamorphosis It will unleash when circulated.
"The Sun is It‘s Father; the Moon is It’s Mother," says It is born in the mysterium conjunctionis of the cosmic pair of opposites. "The Belly of the Wind Carries It," says It is in the air. "Thou wilt separate the earth from the fire, the subtle from the gross, gently and with great care." tells one to separate the subtle essence of It from the gross air. This is done gently and with great care, meaning no great force is needed --- just careful attention.
When It is separated from the air It naturally ascends and descends in sync with breathing in and out. One rotation completes a circuit the Taoist alchemists called the "microcosmic orbit". Rotating It through the inner circulation generates power needed to transcend limitations. Perception expands in scope as the operator practices the inner circulation once the floating Point at the center of the forehead in activated. To initiate the inner circulation first find a quiet tranquil place where one can be alone. Sit comfortably. Calm the internal noise. Use whatever meditative technique you’re familiar with or just sit quietly for a few moments.
The Inhalation: Place the tip of your tongue softly to the roof of your mouth. Inhale gently and steadily through the nose. "Imagize" a subtle force separating from the air you are breathing in. Breath in until the lungs are full. The gross air travels on down your throat into the lungs; pay no attention to it. Instead focus on the image of a subtle force energizing above the nose. "Imagize" It arcing from the forehead down to the base of the skull then down the spine as the breath is drawn in. Pressing the tongue to the roof of the mouth gives one a physical location, a kind of switch, that helps initiate the sense of separation needed to "pare" it from the air. Some people need a prayer or incantation to invoke during initiation praxis. The essence thus separated is very subtle in the early stages and too much attention and concentration upon It will cause It to dodge your attention and concentration like an impish sprite. At such times concentrating on the invocation while breathing solves the problem. Here is the prayer/incantation that I have used for years to steady the inhalation separation: say quietly to yourself, "Spirit descending upon the air ignite the fire of life; energize imagination, inspiration and vitality". It’s simple and exact in prosaic content parallel to the process you’re initiating.
The Exhalation: Move the tongue to the bottom of your mouth just below the front teeth. Exhale through your mouth slowly and steadily. Imagine the essence of It rising from the base of your genitalia upward through the viscera up the center of your chest. At the throat the energy forks below your tongue and then rises into the hemispheres of your brain. Exhale completely but don’t make yourself uncomfortable in so doing. Here again an exhalation prayer/invocation can be helpful to keep the circulation focused. Say quietly to yourself as you exhale, "Body rising through the earth fortify the water of life; manifest strength, determination, will power and health".
Practice this operation as long as you like, however about twenty minutes time is necessary to get an effective circulation going in the initial stages. The spirit descending is dry and cool; the body rising is warm and moist. You may feel It pulsing gently in the groin region at the end of the inhalation. It will expand pleasantly, a glow or cloud-like feeling in the brain field at the end of the exhalation. When you can rotate It up and down feel It with your Will (fixed sulfur). See It with your Imagination (volatile sulfur). Play with It your bird of Hermes.
In the beginning the inner circulation is a simple orbit. After some familiarity, you’ll find the direction of rotation can be reversed. In fact the inner circuit can be used to sublimate ching the Inner Microcosmic quintessence to power further psychic and spiritual transformations that reveal other mechanisms that enhance the microcosmic orbit. The remaining two gems of alchemical initiation will be revealed in future installments.
Lynn Osburn is co-author of Green Gold: the Tree of Life, Marijuana in Magic and Religion published by Access Unlimited. For more information email openi420@juno.com..

---

Three Gems of Alchemical Initiation
Part 2: Sublimation of Ching, the Second Gem of Alchemy
By Lynn Osburn
The sublimation of ching is the second alchemical gemstone. When ching is sublimated through the inner circulation you can become aware of your subtle body. Chi circulates through the inner circulation. Ching can rise through the microcosmic orbit and enliven or activate the dormant subtle body. The subtle body is the complement of the gross (physical) body. When enlivened by the reverse flow of ching the dormant subtle body begins to develop. The old Taoist masters called this development of the immortal fetus.
Ching energy is produced naturally by your physical body. This natural product is sexual energy. Ching is creation power. As sexual energy it is unconsciously produced and driven by biological instinct instilled by the great mother Void Chaos. The physical portal for the production of this microcosmic quintessence is the sex organ systems in men and women. When these complementary powers intermingle through sexual intercourse a new life can be created. The gross (physical) life created is the embryo that can become a new human being provided the electromagnetic and biochemical cascade of matter in the embryo has enough shen to complete its course.
Physical life is created by the union of outward flowing semen in men with the transmigrating egg in women. This unconscious intercourse produces a new human being. When a man prevents the outward flow of semen during sexual practice while drawing the orgasmic energy upward the subtle body can become manifest. The subtle body is in this way enlivened with ching power. Being slowly coalesces there; the immortal fetus is born. Consciousness, feeling and sensation are able to precipitate there.
The Taoist alchemical classic Secret of the Golden Flower, details this process but it does not address the Prima materia --- sexuality --- openly. Classic Western alchemical texts never speak of sexuality. Instead symbolic sexuality is linked to processes going on inside of sealed laboratory equipment. Often a king and queen are pictured in cohabitation upon waters in an alchemical vessel. Those European adepts referred to the process as mysterium conjuctionis—mysterious conjunction.
This marriage of the King and Queen is seen as an allegory for the enlivening processes going on inside the alchemical vessel. Indeed many a chaste Medieval Christian alchemist was barred by religious prejudice from discovering even the possibility of sublimating orgasmic energy.
I was first exposed to the idea of sublimation of sexual energy when I read Taoist Yoga Alchemy and Immortality by Lu K’uan Yu. This is a translation of his teacher’s nineteenth century manuscript. I was a young man when I first read it and rejected the notion of sexual sublimation for it barred orgasmic ejaculation. That was antithetical to my sexual drive at that time. In fact sexuality and lusty thoughts were called evil in the text. Years later I discovered this negative attitude toward sex was an influence first from Buddhism then Christianity. I had all but forgotten about sublimation of sexual energy for alchemical purposes until I read the work of Mantak Chia, a modern master of Taoist alchemy from Thailand. I had been a journeyman alchemist for twenty years by then. I had been circulating chi for ten years but my old incredulity return when I first read his book, Taoist Secrets of Love, Cultivating Male Sexual Energy.
However, I had learned to circulate chi by syncretizing certain Rosicrucian breathing exercises with the circulation patterns outlined in Taoist Yoga Alchemy and Immortality. I was no longer a youth and approaching middle age. My sex drive had become somewhat tempered, and I had gained too much respect for the Tao to dismiss the idea of sublimating sexual energy as laid out by Mantak Chia. He was using the same Taoist microcosmic orbit to flux sexual energy. I studied the book and followed the exercises. I found that sublimating ching was not that difficult since rotating chi through the inner circulation had become second nature for me by then.
Sublimating ching can be dangerous. Ching is much denser power than chi. It travels up the spinal column concentrating subtle body base capacitor qualities in the medulla-cerebellum. From there It penetrates inward into the light gathering organ, the pineal gland; a pulsation is felt as the floating Point opens in the middle of the forehead. If the charge is sustained in the subtle capacitor, It then loads into the port and starboard shen channels saturating Sylvian brain fissures (Called the Supreme Ultimate and Immaterial Spirit respectively by the Taoist alchemists.). Ching in the shen channels can induce power surges into the optic nerves because of the proximity. That surge of energy can cause clusters of blood vessels to blow out. To avoid the danger of ching build-up in the shen channels one must circulate chi after sublimating ching. The excess ching in the subtle body is converted through circulation into life sustaining chi power.
I highly recommend reading Mantak Chia’s book(s) before proceeding. Sublimating ching is not harmless like circulating chi. If one adheres religiously to the traditional methods taught by Mantak Chia then sublimating ching is fairly safe. However the alchemy of ching power spills out well beyond the confines of the traditional methods. If you succeed in sublimating ching and create your own immortal fetus by awakening the subtle body you will become aware of the painful conundrums of sexual power.
To sublimate ching one must collect sexual energy then concentrate It. You do this by stimulation sexually to a point near orgasm. The closer to orgasm you get, the more ching there is. That energy builds in the groin area and must be drawn upward. This is accomplished by drawing in a deep breath while pulling the hot sexual energy up the spine through the inner circulation. This is the opposite direction as in circulating chi.
To keep the power from flowing into orgasmic energy you should clinch the buttocks and fists while pulling the energy upward. It first moves into a cavity near the bowels. Store It there and build another charge and store It the same way. Collective charges stored there from multiple surging concentrates until the sexual fluids that usually carry orgasmic energy become overcharged. Thus overcharged they will escape; the sages say do not spill your seed.
With the supercharge of ching collected stop the sexual gathering and concentrate on drawing the ching up the spine with each inhalation. You will feel It getting dense at the base of your skull. With each inhalation more of It will collect at the base of your skull until this subtle body basal capacitor is fully saturated with ching power. Then the power will jump to the center of your brain and cause a sensation in the middle of your forehead; that is the Floating Point Navigator opening. Should you have enough ching still rising to keep the capacitor charged the density fans out to the left and right saturating the Sylvian fissures above the ears. This signifies the shen generators are charging in the Lateral Ventricles. Should you have still more ching rising the density can be drawn to the crowning point at the top of your skull. Should that open you will know ONE and become Ion. (Personification in eternity)
This process can be seen in the following drawings. First: Ching power rising in the main channel saturating the brain in a man; from Taoist Secrets of Love Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, by Mantak Chia. Second: Ching power flowing in complete circuit in a woman. (from Healing Love Through the Tao, Cultivating Female Sexual Energy by Mantak & Maneewan Chia).
The Point at the top does not open easily and It is better not to open unless you have some shen to distill. If power rises to the crown do not leave It there. Rotate It down to the bottom between the stomach and the bowels. Do this by practicing the inner circulation. It will settle down and balance out in chi.
Once I had become proficient at sublimating ching, I realized how much the experience of the process revealed still more of the Emerald Tablet axioms.
...  Here is the essence of every Perfection in the world.  Its strength and power prevail when turned into earth; thou wilt separate the earth from fire, the subtle from the gross, gently and with great care.
It ascends from earth to heaven, descends again to earth and receives the power of the higher and the lower.  By this means, thou wilt have the glory of the world.  And because of this, all obscurity will flee from thee.  Within this is the power, most powerful of all powers.  For It will overcome all subtle things, and penetrate every solid thing.  Thus the world was created.  Wonderful adaptations will emerge from this; It is the Way.
When ching rises into the original cavity of Spirit behind and between the eyes insight and intuition evolve; one can perceive and feel the essence of every Perfection --- the mystery of ONE.
Sexual power is quite strong. It wants to get out and create. When you turn It within --- into your earth Its strength and power prevail. That means ching turned inward saturates the subtle body with strength and power thus enlivening It.
First, the (subtle) sexual sublimate energy must be separated from the (gross) material sexual secretion systems. This is done with great care (concentration) and no force is necessary -- just will power. It, the sexual energy sublimate, ascends from the groin (earth) to the original cavity of spirit in the head (heaven). It empowers the subtle body and receives the powers of the higher (insight, intuition, inductive configuration, deductive penetration, refined concentration, enhanced imagination).
Having empowered the higher, It descends to the lower, the original cavity of vitality above the crotch and below the kidneys, there It empowers the lower (cogent feeling and sensation, refined will power and emotions). Thus empowered and within the subtle body you will have the glory of the world. And through your evolution in the subtle body and because of the higher and lower development you will attain the most powerful of all powers: knowing the way of things.
Lynn Osburn is co-author of Green Gold: the Tree of Life, Marijuana in Magic and Religion published by Access Unlimited. For more information email openi420@juno.com..

---

Three Gems of Alchemical Initiation
Part 3: Distillation of Shen, the Third Gem of Alchemy
by
Lynn Osburn







Shen is the manifestation power of existence. When Shen is distilled things manifest. When Shen is distilled within the subtle body transcendent evolution can be attained. The human being distills shen naturally. In the drawing to the left above are shown the ventricles of the brain where the alchemical distillation takes play. The mechanisms of the cerebro-spinal system are akin to the furnace and retort/receiver bodies used in mundane distillation. In this analogy the distillation chamber itself is in the brain. The natural production of shen within the human being is mind power. Do not think shen is mind for shen is much more than mind. Mind is a manifestation of shen.
 
The major religions and philosophies direct the pilgrim to calm the mind using the analogy of a still pond that reflects distortion free the mysterious transcendent inspiration of cosmic origin. The still pond reflector state is passive shen. When one receives the manifestation of passive shen --- the reflection of inspiring ideas upon the still mind, and then returns to the outer world and puts the ideas into action so that they become manifest, then one is using active shen power to manifest the idea (passive shen) in the world. Shen is the power to do things.
Will and imagination are fed by shen power. In alchemy will is fixed sulfur and imagination is volatile sulfur. Both are conditions of the alchemical soul. When you "imagized" the chi power in the circulation praxis of the first gemstone you were employing basic shen through volatile sulfur to manifest the chi power. However if you tried to entertain both concepts in the beginning the manifestation would more than likely fail thus discouraging you from further attempts.
The important thing in the first gemstone praxis is to feel the chi power; you cannot feel the chi power in the beginning if your natural shen power of mind manifests instead of the chi power: If your mind makes a phantasy of It losing the chi into an idle dream. Once you can feel the chi power in the circulation shen will ride with It instead of consuming It.
You use shen power through volatile sulfur to configure the concept of the inner circulation. You use shen power through fixed sulfur to set the inner circulation concept into motion. Imagination and will in this way stir spirit into motion. Moving spirit is chi. It is felt as vibration which is waveform energy. When you feel vibration in the circuits of the subtle body that is chi power energizing you. Chi power engenders feelings of calmness and serenity.
You use shen power through volatile sulfur to configure the ching sublimation concept. You use shen power through fix sulfur to hold back and redirect the natural pleasurable surge to orgasm during the ching praxis. You redirect your earthly ching power with fixed sulfur. Earthly ching power has an intimate affinity with fixed sulfur. It clings to fixed sulfur so will power can turn the direction of sexual energy --- will power can sublimate sexual energy into pure ching power.
Sublimated ching does not vibrate like chi power, It pulses and surges as discrete energy quanta more like bits than waveforms. When you feel the pulse as a fluid or gas-like plasma moving up your spine and packing density at the base of your skull that is ching power enlivening your subtle body. In this respect ching is likened to the alchemical salt that gives form to the subtle body so that It unites there.
After the chi/spirit, the ching/body and the shen/soul have each been separated from It by conscious awareness, feeling and sensation, so that one knows each power separately, They reunite as One in the subtle body which then evolves according to your nature.
First you used the natural spirit that moves all as a basis to empower your alchemical development --- you sent chi vibrating through your inner circulation. Second you used natural creation sensation to enliven your alchemical development --- you reversed the flow of ching recreating the inner circulation as the immortal fetus of your subtle alchemical body.
The alchemical development described thus far will take time to gestate through practice. Your new alchemical body --- immortal fetus will evolve. That evolution is unfolding manifestation and fed primarily by shen power.
True you will circulate chi daily to keep power in your channels. Not to do this is to invite general crapulence and senility, such is the path leading to mortality. The alchemical being that you now are will naturally avoid lethal intervals of toxic crapulence.
Also true you will continue to sublimate ching or evolution of the alchemical body will not have the creative power to manifest. You will become uninspired by sex without alchemy because you will either drain your partner of ching or drain your ching into your partner. The latter will not enliven the alchemical body of your sexual partner --- unless your partner is an alchemist. Instead your alchemical ching thus given to a non-initiate will be diverted into channels of physical vitality by unconscious mechanisms within your partner.
Continue Creation into Manifestation: This is the Power most powerful of all powers. This is distilling shen. When enough alchemical power has saturated the shen collectors in the ventricles of the brain, the left and right shen channels open like magnetic fields around parallel rods on either side of your head. That placid calm pond of a mind state upon which images manifest begins to heave like turbulent seas, until the shen rotates in toroidal motion. It boils away from the rotating center like waters separating in an alchemical retort. These waters of shen distill the alchemical body through space/time into Eternity where one is ONE at the center.
One is now able to go forth from here to Eternity and return without transition through death the usual route. Pilgrims describe near death experiences many with similar circumstances. A white light or tunnel appears. The pilgrims travel into the light or tunnel. As they go revelations impress themselves upon these travelers. At some point for some reason or circumstance the person returns to the Macrocosm with visions that affect their lives profoundly.
I have never been able to distill enough shen from sublimating ching to open the shen channels. You can charge them with density and refine your powers of perception and concentration, but the channels will not unfold. I believe it is Entropy that keeps the conversion ratio too low to open the channels. When the Supreme Ultimate and the Immaterial Spirit unfold, the Point at the crown of your head opens and the light or tunnel or shaft leading to the Cosmic Egg is revealed.
Distilling shen from separating chi and sublimating ching is not complete. The separated chi is the Microcosmic outer alchemical agent, and the sublimated ching is the Microcosmic inner alchemical agent. One must also prepare the Macrocosmic inner and outer alchemical agents and combine them with the Microcosmic alchemical agents. Then the circulation will have enough power to distill shen to the Supreme Ultimate and Immaterial Spirit.
The Macrocosmic inner alchemical agent is prepared by the body in the form of saliva. The Taoist alchemists called this "enchymoma". The Macrocosmic outer alchemical agent must be prepared from a substance found outside the body in one of the three kingdoms: mineral, plant, or animal.
When the elixir is ready to use one should begin separating chi into the inner circulation. After a few rotations smell the aroma of the elixir on the inhalation. Feel the energy that is added to the chi. At the end of the exhalation place a few drops in your mouth on the tongue. Mix with saliva and inhale through the nose and do the next rotation. Upon the exhalation as the charge rises more saliva will flood the mouth. Mix it with the elixir. When you have enough saliva swallow at the inhalation and draw this fusion into the circulation. Draw some of the vapors from your mouth into the stream of air going into your lungs. Let the alchemical fusion expand up the front channel.
Rotate as long as you like; stop when you will. For more energy add a few drops to the circulation. If you add enough of the elixir the energy rotating will begin to distill. You will feel It rising like dragon fire up the center channel (very colorful but does not burn). It distills into the lateral ventricles. The pressure expands out the Sylvian fissures above the ears. The dragon wings open feeling like great magnetic fields extending about one foot from the head. More fire and the dragon wings unfold again and extend the field down the length of the body.
The energy is now flowing up the center channel out and down the wing channels (Supreme Ultimate and Immaterial Spirit) and drawn back up the center channel. The shen distills into an energy toroid with an intense void in the center. A portal opens in the center of the void and shen distills into Eternity.

Staying with the Void

From *The Reality of Being: The Fourth Way of Gurdjieff* by Jeanne De Salzmann

I have a new impression of myself but it is fragile. I am not sufficiently steeped in the sensation of being a living Presence, and the feeling revealed here is still too weak. Tensions reappear. I feel them. But I know what they separate me from, and because I know it, they fall away. This is a movement of ebb and flow in which my feeling becomes stronger. It loses its negative and aggressive elements, and opens more and more to a sense of the subtle, the higher, a sense of life itself. My intelligence has to understand the meaning of my tensions, and something in me needs to leave more and more space - not out of obligation but from necessity, a necessity of my being. I seek to understand this state without-tension which brings me closer to the void, to my essence.

I become aware of a world of finer vibrations. I feel them, I have the sensation of them, as if certain parts of me were irrigated, vivified, spiritualized by them. Yet I am still not entirely under the influence of these vibrations. I realize this. But I feel an ever greater need not to resist them. My usual "I" has lost its authority and, as another authority makes itself felt, I see that my life has meaning only if I am attuned to it. In working for this accord, I feel as though situated in a closed circuit and that, if I could remain here long enough, the miracle of my transformation would take place.

In order to feel these fine vibrations, I must come to real stillness of the body, a state without any tension where the thought is simply a witness which without comment sees all that happens. I will then understand what it means to have pure sensation-a sensation with no intervening image. My body is under this vision with no tension. Relaxation appears by itself as my seeing becomes clear, and with it I feel that separate islands of energy in me need to be more deeply related. This fine sensation is a sign of incarnation, the moment of penetration when the spirit materializes and takes on a definite density.

In a more objective state, where an order is established, my breathing can take on new meaning. Only in this state am I capable of receiving the finer elements of the air and absorbing them. I feel the energy circulate freely in my body, with nothing stopping or deflecting it, nothing projecting it outside or fixing it inside. It flows in a kind of circular movement, which takes place without my intervening. I feel it as a movement in which I exist. I discover my breathing---the absorption and discharge of energy.

I breath in…….I breathe out.
I know that I breathe in…..I know that I breathe out.
In a quiet body I breathe in…… In a quiet body I breathe out.
Slowly I breathe in……. Slowly I breathe out.

I am awake to this breathing that is taking place in me. I am awake to my body. I do not separate them from each other.

In a light body, I breathe in……. In a light body, I breathe out.

The body feels lighter. I let myself exhale completely, all the way to end.

Without avidity, I breathe in…. Without avidity, I breathe out.

I feel the impermanence of the movement. I do not seek to hold back anything whatsoever.

Feeling, free, I breathe in….. Feeling, free, I breathe out.

Words and forms lose their power of attraction. A kind of clarity lights the state I am in. I become deeply quiet in order to awaken to what I am.

Sensing theVoid

The constant attention should be on the Void. Or the feeling of the Self. To ignore all the other attendant impurities of the mind like visual imagery or logical formulations.
Just as I sense the essence of the pain stripping aside the part of the body where the pain is, I must just stay with the feeling of the Void. Feel its weight and its sensation on "whatever is sensing it".


The process of keeping the energy high to remember this task and to stay with the sensing of the Void for a longer period. Then may be God will hear the Prayer.

Gorakh and Masyendra

The Gorakhbodh

This is a very obscure text of the Nathas, conducted in the form of questions from Gorakh (Gorakhnath) to Macchendra (Matsyendranath). The English translation, from a Hindi text, was published at the beginning of the century and is out of copyright.
Gorakh -- O Lord (Svami), you are the Master Teacher (Satguru Gosain), and I am but a disciple: may I put a question, which you would kindly reply to and resent not? To start with, what ideal (lacch) should the disciple put before him? Do tell me for you are the true Teacher.
Macchendra -- Let the unattached (awadhu, avadhuta) live at the monastery (hat) or be on the road, resting in the shadow of the trees; he should renounce desire, cruelty, greed, delusion, and the illusion of Samsar (Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha and Samsar ki Maya); he should hold converse (gosht) with himself and contemplate the Endless (Ananta); he should sleep little and eat little. In the beginning the disciple should live thus. Thus speaks Macchendra. [2]
G What should he see, what contemplate, and what treat as the essence (sar); with what should he shave his head and with the knowledge of what should he try to cross (the ocean of Samsar)?
M He should see himself, contemplate the Endless (Ananta), and fix upon Reality as the essence; he should shave his head with (or after receiving) the word of the teacher (Guru ka Shabda), and should cross over with the aid of Divine knowledge (Brahma Gyana). [4]
G What is the teaching (upadesh) of the Guru's order or doctrine (Ades)? Where does the void (Sunya) reside? Who is the Guru of the word (Shabda)?
M The most wonderful (anupam) is the teaching of the Guru (Ades); the void (Sunya) resides within us and Realisation (parcha or parichaya) is the Guru of the word (shabda). [6]
G What is the form (rupa) of the mind (mana)? What is the appearance (akar) of the vital breath (pavana)? What is the direction (disa) of the ten and through which door can the control be effected?
M The void (sunya) is the fore of the mind; the appearance of vital breath (pavan) is invisibility (nirakar); the direction of the ten is unsayable (alekh) and control lies through the tenth door. [8]
G Which is the root (mula) and which the branch (bela)? Who is the Guru and who the disciple; with what essence (tatt) can one go about alone?
M Mind is the root and vital breath is the branch; the word (shabda) is the Guru and attention (surat or surta) is the disciple. With the essence called deliverance (nirbana tat) Gorakhnath wanders about, himself in himself. [10]
G What is the seed (biraja) and what the field (khetra)? What is direct hearing (satvan)? What is true vision? What is Joga and what is the method (Jugti)? What is liberation (mocch)? And what is salvation (mukti)?
M The word (Mantra) is the seed; perception (mati) is the womb or land; and attention (surti) is direct hearing, and discrimination (nirti) is true vision; the ocean (Uram) is Joga and the earth (Dhuram) is the method; light (joti) is liberation and the refulgence (Juala) is salvation. [12]
G Which is the tree without a trunk, and which is the parrot without wings? Which is the dam (palu) without a shore (tir), and who died without death (kal)?
M Vital breath (pavana) is the tree without a trunk; mind is the parrot (sua) without wings; constancy (dhiraj) is the dam without a shore; sleep is dying without death. [14]
G In what house (ghar) is moon (chanda) and in what is the sun (sur)? In what house does Time play music (Tur, a musical instrument)? Where do the five elements (tat) have equipoise (sam rahai)?
M The moon in the mind; the sun in the vital breath; in the void (sunya) Time plays on the musical instrument (tura) and in the house of knowledge the five elements reside in equipoise (sam). [16]
G What is the New Moon (amavas) and what manifests (pariba)? Which or where is the great elixir (maha rasa) and whereto with it do we mount? At what place does the mind reside in the state of self-transcendence (unmani)?
M The sun (ravi) should be treated as the darkest night; the moon should be made manifest; the great elixir of the lower (ardh) should be taken to the upper (urdh); in the heaven within us (gagan) the mind resides in self-transcendence. [18]
G What destroys the bad word (kusabda) and where does the good word (susabda) reside? On what side (mukha) does the vital breath of twelve fingerbreadths reside?
M The good word swallows or catches the bad word and itself resides within (nirantar); the vital breath of twelve fingerbreadths is controlled (rahai) through the word of the Guru. [20]
G Who is the Adiguru? Who is the husband of the earth (dhartri)? What is the home of knowledge (gyana)? Which is the door (duvar) of the void (sunn)?
M The eternal beginningless (anadi) is the Adiguru; heaven (anbar) is the husband of earth; Awake-awareness (Chetan) is the home of knowledge, and realisation (parcha) is the door of the void. [22]
G Through the realisation (parchai) of what is the attachment with the Illusion (maya moha) broken; how can the residence of the moon (Sisihar) be pierced; how is the dam (bandha) applied and how can the body (kandha) be made immortal (ajar var)?
M When realisation (parchai) comes to the mind, attachment to the world ceases; with the control of the working of vital breath the moon (sisihar) is destroyed; the acquisition of real knowledge (gyana) applies the dam and the realisation of the teacher (Guru parchai) gives us immortality. [24]
G Where do mind, vital breath, the word (shabda) and the moon reside?
M The mind resides in the heart (hirdai); vital breath resides in the navel; the word (shabda) resides in the will (ruci); the moon resides in the heaven (gagan). [25]
G If there had been no heart (hirda) where would the mind have rested, composed? Had there been no navel where, would have vital breath rested unmoved? Had there been no form (rupa) where would have the word (Shabda} resided? Without a heaven where would have the moon been?
Without the navel, the air would have resided in the formless (Nirakar); without will, the word (shabda) would have resided (rahata) in the unmanifest (Akula); without the heaven, the moon would have resided in desire (abhika).
G Had there been no night, where would the day have come from? Without the day, where would the night merge? When the lamp is extinguished, where does light dwell?
M Without night, the day would have merged into Sahaj; had there been no day, the night would have passed into (Sahaj); on the extinguishing of the lamp, the light passes into the omnipresent (nirantar); had there been no vital breath, then the body of vital breath (pran purus) would have resided in the void. [30]
G Who is the creator of the body (kaya); wherefrom has light (tej) been created? What is the mouth (?muha or muda?) of Divine knowledge (Brahma Gyana)? How can the Unseeable be seen?
M The Absolute (Brahma) is the creator of the body (kaya); out of truth (sat) has effulgence (tej) been created; the void is the mouth (muda or muha) of Divine knowledge (Brahma Gyana); and through the Sadguru and the disciple realisation my the unseeable be made visible. [ 32]
G How many lakhs (hundreds of thousands) of moons are there in the body?. How does fragrance reside in the flower? Where does the ghee hide in the milk? How does the soul (jiva) conceal itself in the body?
M There are two lakhs of moons in the body; fragrance is the conscious(ness) (chetan) in the flower; the ghee is immanent in the milk; the soul (jiva) is the all- pervasiveness in the body. [34]
G Had there been no body where would the sun and the moon have resided? Had there been no flower, where would the fragrance have been? Had there been no milk where would the ghee have been? Had there been no body, where would the spirit have been?
M Without the body, the sun and the moon would have been omnipresent; without the flower, fragrance would have dwelt in the (Anhad); without the milk, the ghee (ghiv or ghee) would have resided in the void; without the body, the spirit would have been in the Supreme Void (Param Sunn). [36]
G Where do the moon and the sun dwell, where the essence, the root of the word (nad) and the vital power (bind)? Where does the Hamsa (swan) mount up for drinking water? To what place (ghar) do you bring the reversed power (ulti shakti) to rest?
M The moon resides in the upper (urdha) and the sun in the lower (ardha); the essence, the nad(a) and bind(u) dwells in the heart; to the heaven goes the swan (hans) for drinking water, and the reversed power (Shakti) reverts to the Self, its real, original home. [38]
G Where does nad(a) rise; where does it acquire equipoise (sam); how is it made to stand still, and where is it finally merged?
M Nad(a) rises from the Unconditioned (Avigata); gains equipoise in the void; you can stop it through the vital breath and it vanishes, unites with the Formless (Niranjana). [40]
G If the nad(a) sounds not, if the power acts not, if the heaven is not there to draw our hope, were there neither nad(a) nor bind(u), then where would the man of vital breath (Prana Purusha) reside?
M Nad(a) sounds, bind(u) moves; the heaven (gagan) attracts desire; but were there neither nad(a) nor bind(u) then breath would reside in the omnipresent (nirantar). [42]
G When form dissolves and the Formless remains, when water becomes air, when there is neither sun nor moon, where does the Hamsa dwell?
M The Sahaja hans(a) resides after the play in the Person of the void (Sunn hans); when the form becomes Formless then the spirit (hans) resides in the Supreme light (Param Joti). [44]
G What is the root (mula) of the rootless (Amul)? Where does the root reside? Who is the Guru of the goal (pada)?
M The void is the root of the rootless; the root resides in the omnipresent (Nirankar); the Guru of the goal is liberation (Nirban). [46]
G Where does the vital breath (prana) rise? Wherefrom does the mind come? How is the speech (vacha) born and where does it dissolve (viliyate)?
M The birth of the mind is from the Formless (Avagat), the vital breath from the mind, and speech from the breath; speech is dissolved in the mind. [48]
G Which is the lake and which the lotus? How can we ward off Kal(time or death)? How can we reach the Unseeable, Unreachable (Agochar) world?
M Mind is the lake and air is the lotus; by becoming upwards-faced (Urdh-mukhi) you can ward off Kal; through knowing the lower and the upper one my become one with the Unknowable (Agochar liv lahai). [50]
G Which is the difficult, and which the easy; what is union (sandh), and through what nerve centre (chakra) can the moon be made stable? How can the conscious mind attain to self-transcendence?
M The Pure (Anila) and the Stainless (Vimal) are the difficult and easy forms of union (sandh); the dam is to be applied above the chaki nerve-centre (chakra); the always-awake can attain to self-transcendence (unmani). [52]
G How came about birth? How did the first consciousness begin (ad ki surat)? How was I born?
M As oil is in the sesame seed, as fire is in the wood, as fragrance in the flower, so too resides the spirit (devata) in the body (deh). [54]
G What drives ahead the conch-like (sankhini)? Where does the elixir in the arched vein (banka nala) go? As the breather goes to sleep, where does the vital breath (prana) in the body (pinda) side?
M True spontaneity (sahaj subhai) can drive the conch-like (sankhini); the arched vein (banka nala) resides in the navel; as the breather goes to sleep; the vital breath in the body resides in its own shadow or resides undivided (api chhaya or aparchhinna). [56]
G At what nerve centre (chakra) is the moon stabilised? At what nerve centre (chakra) is the union or penetration (sandh) applied? What nerve centre (chakra) controls (niredha) the vital air? What centre (chakra) imparts knowledge (pramodh) to the mind? At what centre (chakra) should attention (dhyana) he centred (dhariye)? At what centre (chakra) should one rest?
M The higher (Urdh chakra), the lower (Ardh chakra), the Pashchima (west) centre, the heart centre, the throat (kantha) centre the Gyana (Agya) chakra.
G Which is the garden, the town and the mandal? In which city is the Guru? If I forget it, how am I to cross over?
M Whoso gives up speech has achieved the void of the manifoldness (maya sunn): in contemplating that, one rises above good and evil; by an understanding of Shiva and Shakti, one may attain to self-transcendence (unmani). [60]
G By what stalk of the lotus (nala) can the liquid (Siva) be drawn up? How does the soul (jiva) drink it? How can one residing in the womb of the mother, drink the elixir?
M It is collected through the Shankhini Nadi; the soul (jiva) resides in the Sushumna nadi; while residing in the womb of the mother he drinks it through the banka nala. [62]
G What is the house (graha) and what the habitation; in what womb does he remain for ten months? Through what mouth does he drink water and through what mouth, milk? In what direction was the body born?
M The Pure, the Formless (Anil) is the house (graha) and the Unconditioned (avagat), the habitation (has); in the womb of the Beyond (Atit) he remains for ten months; through mind he has water and through vital air (pavan) he drinks elixir or milk (amrit); in the direction of Omkar the body takes birth.
G In what void (sunn) is he born? In what void (sunn) is he absorbed?
M He is born in the Sahaja Void and the Satguru gave him instruction at the void of nearness (Samip Sunn); he then got absorbed in the void of unattachment (Atit Sunn). He then explains to you the essence of the supreme void (Param Sunna). [88]
G How can one attain to Samadhi? How can one get rid of the disturbing factors (upadhi)? How can one enter the fourth (Turiya) state? How can one make one's body (kandh) changeless and deathless?
M The young person (bala) enters Samadhi through the mind; he gets rid of the disturbances through the vital breath (pavan); he acquires the fourth state (Turiya) through attention (surat) or realisation (Gyana) and through obeying, turning to, the Guru (Guru mukh) he attains to immortality. [68]
G Who sleeps, who wakes, who goes to the ten directions? Wherefrom does the vital breath arise? How does it bring sound from the lips, throat and the palate (talika or taluka)?
M The mind, or the absorbed (liv) sleeps; the vital breath or the conscious (chetan) awakes; imagination (kalpana) goes out to the ten directions. From the navel the air arises, it rises and produces sounds from the lips, throat and the palate (taluka). [70]
G What is the conscious? What is the essence (sar)? What is sleep and what is death? By realising what (parchai) does one sustain the elements (tat)?
M The light (Joti) is conscious; fearlessness is the awakened essence. Waking is birth and sleeping is death; the five elements dwell in light. [72]
G Who speaks, who sleeps; in what form does he seek himself? In what form does he remain the same through the ages?
M Word (shabda) speaks; attention (surat) sleeps; he seeks himself in an Unseeable (adekh) form and in the Form without Form he remains the same through ages. [ 74 ]
G How does the mind acquire virtues? How does the vital air come and go? How does the fountain (nihjar) rise from the moon and how does Time or Death (kal) go to sleep?
M In the heart (hirdai) the mind acquires the many virtues; in the navel the vital air starts its coming and going (Avagavan); contemplating itself (apmukhi) he makes the fountain play; contemplating itself Time or Death goes to sleep. [76]
G At which void (sunn) does light reverse; from which void does speech arise; which void is the essence of the three worlds; through which void can one cross over?
M The void of eagerness, the void of fearlessness, the void of self-mastery, and the void of detachment. (Urga, Anbhai, Prabhu, Atit). [78]
G Where does hunger arise and where food? Where is sleep born and where death?
M From desire (mansa) arose hunger and from hunger, food; from food sleep and from sleep, death. [80]
G At which lotus does the Hamsa (hans) inhale and exhale (sas, usas); at which lotus does Hamsa rest; at what lotus does he perform worship (puja) and at what lotus does he see the Unseeable (Alakh)?
M The navel lotus, the heart lotus, the centre (madh) lotus, the lotus Beyond (Achint). [82]
G What is truth? Do tell me, please, O Guru Pandit. What is the condition or direction of the mind and the breath? How can one swim across (the ocean of Samsar) with their help?
M Progression from mere seeing, to divine or spiritual perception (dibya drisht); from knowledge (gyana) towards realisation (vigyma); the teacher and the pupil have the same body; if realisation (parcha) comes, then there will he no straying or return. [84]
G Wherefrom do inhalation and exhalation arise? Where does the Param Hans reside? At what place does the mind reside constantly stable?
M They rise from the lower (Ardh); at the higher (Urdh) the Supreme Swan (Param hans) resides; in the Sahaja Void the mind is ever in equipoise. In the realisation of the word (Shabda parchai) the mind remains in equipoise. [86]
G How should one come, how go; how to collect oneself and remain absorbed; how can one stabilise one's mind and one's body?
M He should come and go in the void and in the void (sunn) he should collect himself and remain absorbed; in the Sahaja Void the body and the mind remain unchanged. [ 88 ]
G Where does Shiva reside and where Shakti? Where resides vital breath (prana) and where the embodied being ( Jiva) ? At what place can one have the realisation of them?
M At the lower (Ardh) resides Shakti and at the higher (Urdh) Shiva; inside resides vital breath (prana) and further inside the embodied being (Jiva); by going still further in, one may attain to a realisation of them. [90]
G How should one sit and how walk, how speak and how meet; how should one deal with one ' s body?
M He should sit, walk, speak and meet awake and aware (surat mukh); with his attention and discrimination (surat or nirat) thus handled, he should live fearlessly. [92]
G What is the word (shabda); what is attention (supat); what is discrimination (nirat)? What is the dam? How can one remain stable amidst duality?
M The Beginningless, the Soundless (Anahad) is the word; right awareness is attention (surat); independence (niralanb) is discrimination (nirat); let him apply the check; he will then live as Unity amidst Duality. [94]
G Who can tread a path without feet? Who can see without eyes? Who can hear without ears? Who can speak without words?
M Contemplation (vichar) can tread without feet; discrimination (nirat) can see without eyes; attention (supat) can hear without ears; the Soundless (Anhad) can speak without words. [96]
G Which posture (asan)? What knowledge (gyana)? How should the young disciple (bala) meditate (dhyan)? By what means can he enjoy the bliss of the Unconditioned Being (Avagata)?
M Contentment (santokh) is the posture (asana); contemplation is the knowledge (gyana); he should try to rise above his physical being in (or for) his meditation; through carrying out the behest of the Guru he can have the joy of the Unconditioned Being (Avagata). [98]
G How to have contentment and contemplation and meditation that goes beyond the physical? How can I bend my mind to them?
M Contentment comes from fearlessness (nirbhai); thinking from avoidance of attachment or realisation (anbhai); he should meditate within his body to rise above the body; by turning to the Teacher (Guru) one can bend one's mind to them. [100]
G What is the cleansing (Dhoti)? What is conduct (Achar)? Through what recitation (Japa) does the mind come to rid itself of restless thoughts (Vikaras)? How can one become unattached and fearless?
M Meditation is purification; right thinking, discrimination leads to right action; through the Ajapa Japa ( = Ha Sa) the mind rids itself of restless thoughts; by becoming unattached one can become fearless. [ 102]
G Who is the Omkar and who is the Self (ap); who is the mother and who is the father? How can the river (darya) enter the mind?
M The word (Shabda) is the One (Omkar); light (Joti) is the Self; the void (Sunn, Surat) is the mother and consciousness (Chit or Chaitan) is the father; steadiness (nishchai -- without anxiety) causes the river to flow in the mind. [ 104 ]
G How can one carry out true living (rahini) and how can one carry on meditation? Where is the immortal elixir? How can one drink it? How can one keep the body for ever?
M By turning to the higher (Urdha) or the mind, you can attain right living; by turning to Shakti you can achieve right meditation; by turning to the heaven within (gagan) you can have the elixir of immortality (Amirasa) and by turning to conscious activity (chit) you can drink it. By relinquishing desire, one can gain the immortal body (bidehi rahai). [106]
G How should one come and go; how can one defeat death? How can one reside in light?
M One should turn to Sahaja; one should go by turning to Shakti; by becoming wingless one can eat away death; one can always reside in light by being without breath (niswasa). [ 108]
G What is body, what is breath; what Person (purukh) should I meditate upon? At what place does mind transcend Time?
M Air is the body and the mind is the breath (force); we should meditate on the Supreme Person (Param Purukh). In Samadhi the mind goes beyond the reach of Time. [110]
G Which is the key and which is the lock; who is old and who is young (bala)? Where does mind remain awakened (chetan)?
M The wordless (nih-shabda) is the key and the word (shabda) is the lock; the unconscious one (achet) is old; the conscious one is young; mind in self- transcendence (unman) is ever aware (chetan). [112]
G Who is the practitioner (sadhak) and who the perfected (Siddh)? What is illusion and what is magic? How can one drive away deception from one's mind?
M Attention is the practitioner and the word is the adept; "I am" is the illusion (Maya) and "he is" is the magic (riddh). To destroy deception or duality one should reside within. [114]
G Which is the mould, and which is the calx of tin? Which is the ornament and how may it be beautified? How should self-transcendence (unmani) reside changeless with that?
M Knowledge (gyana) is the mould; vital breath is the calx (beng); light is the ornament which makes it beautiful; self-transcendence (unmani) should reside with That steadfastly, unchangingly. [116]
G Which is the temple and who is the god (deva); how to worship it? How should one reside there with the five unholy ones?
M The void is the temple; mind is the god; one should serve Him by being within (nirantar); with the five one should reside in self- transcendence (Unman). [ 118]
G Which is the temple, which the door; which is the image and who is the Unfathomable (Apar)? By what method of worship can the mind transcend itself (Unman rahai)?
M The void is the temple; Shabda is the door; Light is the image; the Flame (Jvala) is the Unfathomable (Apar); through turning to the form of the Formless (Arupa) or to the Guru one can reside self-transcendent, or fathom the secrets. [120]
G Which is the lamp and which is the light? What is the wick wherein the oil resides? How can the lamp be made inextinguishable?
M Knowledge (Gyana) is the lamp; the word (shabda) is the light (prakash); contentment (santokh -- santosha) is the wick in which the oil resides; one should destroy duality and be without partiality (akhandit). [122]
G What goes slow and what goes fast? Who revolves and what is the find? In what place can one be fearless?
M Steadiness of mind (dhiraj) goes slow; restless thought (vikara) goes fast; surat (attention) revolves (phurti) and truth (sar) is the find. [124]
G Who is a Yogi? How should he live in equipoise? Who is an enjoyer (Bhogi) and how should he acquire? How does pain rise out of pleasure and how can one patiently suffer pain?
M Mind is the Jogi; let him live in self-transcendence; the great elixir will come to him and he will enjoy all pleasures; in that elixir is the indivisible (akhandit) pain; the word (shabda) of the Guru secures the patience to suffer it. [126]
G Which is the self (Atma), what comes and goes? Which is the self, what is absorbed in the void? What is the self, what stays changeless in the three worlds? By knowing whom can one become one of the fifty-two heroes (bavan bir)?
M The self of vital breath (pavan atma) comes and goes; the mind-self is absorbed in the void; the knowledge-self resides unchanged in the three worlds; by knowing (parchai) the Guru one becomes one of the fifty-two heroes. [128]
G What is the life (Jiva) of the mind? What is the support (besas) of that life (jiva)? What is the basis of that support? What is the form of the Brahma?
M The life (jiva) of the mind is the vital air and the support of the embodied being (jiva) is the void; the basis (adhar) of that support (besas) is the form of Brahma (= Absolute); and the form of the Brahma is unthinkable (Achintya). [130]
G Through which centre can one make one's body immortal? Through which centre can one attain to the Unknowable dam (Agochar bandh)? Through which centre can the Hamsa be liberated (Hans nirodh)? Through which centre can the mind be instructed? Which centre gives pleasure? Which centre brings on the Samadhi?
M The anus (Mula) centre; the penis (Guda) centre; the navel (Nabhi) centre; the heart centre; the throat centre and the head (Nilata) centre. He who knows the meaning of these six chakras, he is the Cause, he the Deva. [132]
He is a Yogi who controls (sadhita) the mind and the vital air (pavana); he is not stained by evil. He is not seized of merit. [133]

Artwork is © Jan Bailey, 1996-2006. Translations are © Mike Magee 1996-2006.

onstruction of Sri Yantra                 Back

Describe a circle, with an imaginary vertical line of a suitable length as its diameter.
Divide the diameter into forty-eight equal parts and mark off the sixth, twelfth, seventeenth, twentieth, twenty-third, twenty-seventh, thirtieth, thirty-sixth and forty-second divisions from the top. Draw nine chords, at right angles to the diameter, through the nine points marked off, and number them accordingly.
Rub off 1/16th part of No. 1,  5/48ths of No. 2,  1/3rd of No. 4,  3/8th of No. 5,  1/3rd of No. 6,  1/12th of No.8, and  1/16th of No. 9,  at both ends of each line.
Draw triangles with lines, Nos. 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 9 as bases and the middle points of Nos. 6, 9, 8, 7, 2, 1 and 3 respectively as their apexes.
Draw also the two triangles with Nos. 3 and 7 as their bases and the lower and the upper extremeties of the diameter as apexes respectively.
In the middle of the innermost triangle place the bindu.
Thus we get forty-three triangles pointing outwards, composed of one in the middle, eight triangles around it, two sets of ten triangles around the eight triangles, one set around the other, and fourteen triangles around them.
Then, by marking off 16 points in the circumference equidistant from one another, commencing from the upper extremity of the diameter and constructing one petal over each of them, form the eight-petalled lotus.
Then, circumscribe a circle touching the outer extremity of the petals. Divide the circumference of the circle so described into 32 equal divisions and draw symmetrically sixteen petals over them, as before.
Then circumscribe a circle round the sixteen-petalled lotus, as before, and enclose the second circle so described in two concentric circles at equal distances from each other.
Construct three squares about the outermost circle, with sides equidistant from each other, and the innermost square not to touch the outermost circle. Mark off four doorways on the four sides, each equidistant from either extremeties, and rub off the interspaces.
The figure thus formed is the shrIcakra. The centre of the circle is known as the bindu. VAmakeshwara tantra says that the five triangles with their apexes pointing downwards are indicative of the shaktI and the four triangles with their apexes pointing upwards are of shiva.
According to some traditions the distance from the bindu  to the innermost circle should equal the distance from the innermost circle to the outer gate, and the gates should be left open. This will result in this form.

Quotes regarding Movement

"The body has to be in the work ... the body has to be in the work...."-

. "It is the sound produced by the pianist that determines everything, it is this sound that has to complete the inner process brought into action by the movements of the dancers. “

Lucid Dreaming(From the Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams

he final part of the MILD technique is the most fascinating. After setting the intention to lucid dream, the single most important goal of your subconscious is to control your dreams. Now, imagine what it would be like to realize you are dreaming. Imagine you are back in the last dream you can remember and re-live the ending.
But this time, become conscious within the dream. Look around you and see everything in high definition. Smell the scent of the air. Feel the ground underfoot. Engage all your senses. This is the key to increasing self awareness in dreams.
This powerful visualization technique is excellent for becoming lucid, especially if you do it as you fall asleep. Sometimes you will find the dream world literally unfolds around you. Other times you will fall asleep and dream of this memory later on in the night.
That is the secret to Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams. The very last thought you have before falling asleep is about lucidity.