All this goes on as H describes it so well. As if we are puppets of some play.... How to bring the kind of attention that is independent of all this, which can see all this. The one which needs to fix this, that and every other thing is a pretender to the crown and expects obeisance. It even begins to use the language and the forms of the work for its purposes.
"What is needed? To remember that being human is an immense privilege and a wonder? Or?
"What does it mean to be free?
"I look forward to this week of work together. Perhaps we can find the place at the edge between what we know and what we do not know...and become available to the unknown."
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Excerpts from the Gnostic Gospels
Gospel of Thomas
1.After all its not what goes into your mouth that will defile you. Its what comes out of your mouth that will defile you.
2.Whoever blasphemes against the Father will be forgiven, and whoever blasphemes against the son will be forgiven, but whoever blasphemes against the holy spirit will not be forgiven, either on earth or in heaven.
3.Lucky is the lion that the human will eat, so that the lion becomes human. And foul is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion still will become human.
Gospel of Philip.
1.The slave seeks only to be free, but he does not hope to acquire the estate of his master. But the son is not only a son but lays claim to the inheritance of the father. Those who are heirs to the dead are themselves dead, and they inherit the dead. Those who are heirs to what is living are alive, and they are heirs to both what is living and the dead. The dead are heirs to nothing. For how can he who is dead inherit? If he who is dead inherits what is living he will not die, but he who is dead will live even more
2.Names given to the worldly are very deceptive, for they divert our thoughts from what is correct to what is incorrect. Thus one who hears the word "God" does not perceive what is correct, but perceives what is incorrect. So also with "the Father" and "the Son" and "the Holy Spirit" and "life" and "light" and "resurrection" and "the Church (Ekklesia)" and all the rest - people do not perceive what is correct but they perceive what is incorrect, unless they have come to know what is correct. The names which are heard are in the world [...] deceive. If they were in the Aeon (eternal realm), they would at no time be used as names in the world. Nor were they set among worldly things. They have an end in the Aeon.
3.These are powers which [...] man, not wishing him to be saved, in order that they may [...]. For if man is saved, there will not be any sacrifices [...] and animals will not be offered to the powers. Indeed, the animals were the ones to whom they sacrificed. They were indeed offering them up alive, but when they offered them up, they died. As for man, they offered him up to God dead, and he lived.
4.Before Christ came, there was no bread in the world, just as Paradise, the place were Adam was, had many trees to nourish the animals but no wheat to sustain man. Man used to feed like the animals, but when Christ came, the perfect man, he brought bread from heaven in order that man might be nourished with the food of man. The rulers thought that it was by their own power and will that they were doing what they did, but the Holy Spirit in secret was accomplishing everything through them as it wished. Truth, which existed since the beginning, is sown everywhere. And many see it being sown, but few are they who see it being reaped.
5. No one will hide a large valuable object in something large, but many a time one has tossed countless thousands into a thing worth a penny. Compare the soul. It is a precious thing and it came to be in a contemptible body.
6.It is through water and fire that the whole place is purified - the visible by the visible, the hidden by the hidden. There are some things hidden through those visible. There is water in water, there is fire in chrism.
7.What the father possesses belongs to the son, and the son himself, so long as he is small, is not entrusted with what is his. But when he becomes a man, his father gives him all that he possesses.
8.God is a dyer. As the good dyes, which are called "true", dissolve with the things dyed in them, so it is with those whom God has dyed. Since his dyes are immortal, they become immortal by means of his colors. Now God dips what he dips in water.
9.It is not possible for anyone to see anything of the things that actually exist unless he becomes like them. This is not the way with man in the world: he sees the sun without being a sun; and he sees the heaven and the earth and all other things, but he is not these things. This is quite in keeping with the truth. But you saw something of that place, and you became those things. You saw the Spirit, you became spirit. You saw Christ, you became Christ. You saw the Father, you shall become Father. So in this place you see everything and do not see yourself, but in that place you do see yourself - and what you see you shall become.
10.Faith receives, love gives. No one will be able to receive without faith. No one will be able to give without love.
11.God is a man-eater. For this reason, men are sacrificed to him. Before men were sacrificed, animals were being sacrificed, since those to whom they were sacrificed were not gods.
12.As for the Wisdom who is called "the barren," she is the mother of the angels. And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene. [...] loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples [...]. They said to him "Why do you love her more than all of us?" The Savior answered and said to them,"Why do I not love you like her? When a blind man and one who sees are both together in darkness, they are no different from one another. When the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness."
1.After all its not what goes into your mouth that will defile you. Its what comes out of your mouth that will defile you.
2.Whoever blasphemes against the Father will be forgiven, and whoever blasphemes against the son will be forgiven, but whoever blasphemes against the holy spirit will not be forgiven, either on earth or in heaven.
3.Lucky is the lion that the human will eat, so that the lion becomes human. And foul is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion still will become human.
Gospel of Philip.
1.The slave seeks only to be free, but he does not hope to acquire the estate of his master. But the son is not only a son but lays claim to the inheritance of the father. Those who are heirs to the dead are themselves dead, and they inherit the dead. Those who are heirs to what is living are alive, and they are heirs to both what is living and the dead. The dead are heirs to nothing. For how can he who is dead inherit? If he who is dead inherits what is living he will not die, but he who is dead will live even more
2.Names given to the worldly are very deceptive, for they divert our thoughts from what is correct to what is incorrect. Thus one who hears the word "God" does not perceive what is correct, but perceives what is incorrect. So also with "the Father" and "the Son" and "the Holy Spirit" and "life" and "light" and "resurrection" and "the Church (Ekklesia)" and all the rest - people do not perceive what is correct but they perceive what is incorrect, unless they have come to know what is correct. The names which are heard are in the world [...] deceive. If they were in the Aeon (eternal realm), they would at no time be used as names in the world. Nor were they set among worldly things. They have an end in the Aeon.
3.These are powers which [...] man, not wishing him to be saved, in order that they may [...]. For if man is saved, there will not be any sacrifices [...] and animals will not be offered to the powers. Indeed, the animals were the ones to whom they sacrificed. They were indeed offering them up alive, but when they offered them up, they died. As for man, they offered him up to God dead, and he lived.
4.Before Christ came, there was no bread in the world, just as Paradise, the place were Adam was, had many trees to nourish the animals but no wheat to sustain man. Man used to feed like the animals, but when Christ came, the perfect man, he brought bread from heaven in order that man might be nourished with the food of man. The rulers thought that it was by their own power and will that they were doing what they did, but the Holy Spirit in secret was accomplishing everything through them as it wished. Truth, which existed since the beginning, is sown everywhere. And many see it being sown, but few are they who see it being reaped.
5. No one will hide a large valuable object in something large, but many a time one has tossed countless thousands into a thing worth a penny. Compare the soul. It is a precious thing and it came to be in a contemptible body.
6.It is through water and fire that the whole place is purified - the visible by the visible, the hidden by the hidden. There are some things hidden through those visible. There is water in water, there is fire in chrism.
7.What the father possesses belongs to the son, and the son himself, so long as he is small, is not entrusted with what is his. But when he becomes a man, his father gives him all that he possesses.
8.God is a dyer. As the good dyes, which are called "true", dissolve with the things dyed in them, so it is with those whom God has dyed. Since his dyes are immortal, they become immortal by means of his colors. Now God dips what he dips in water.
9.It is not possible for anyone to see anything of the things that actually exist unless he becomes like them. This is not the way with man in the world: he sees the sun without being a sun; and he sees the heaven and the earth and all other things, but he is not these things. This is quite in keeping with the truth. But you saw something of that place, and you became those things. You saw the Spirit, you became spirit. You saw Christ, you became Christ. You saw the Father, you shall become Father. So in this place you see everything and do not see yourself, but in that place you do see yourself - and what you see you shall become.
10.Faith receives, love gives. No one will be able to receive without faith. No one will be able to give without love.
11.God is a man-eater. For this reason, men are sacrificed to him. Before men were sacrificed, animals were being sacrificed, since those to whom they were sacrificed were not gods.
12.As for the Wisdom who is called "the barren," she is the mother of the angels. And the companion of the [...] Mary Magdalene. [...] loved her more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples [...]. They said to him "Why do you love her more than all of us?" The Savior answered and said to them,"Why do I not love you like her? When a blind man and one who sees are both together in darkness, they are no different from one another. When the light comes, then he who sees will see the light, and he who is blind will remain in darkness."
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Habit
Breaking of habits as a basis of sadhana appears to be quite interesting. Our false personality finally manifests into habits -physical, emotional and intellectual. We seem trapped and imprisoned by these habits and are powerless to do any thing 'out of character'.
Breaking of habits allows us to break the walls around us and then merge with the habitless and hopefully, the right action would follow guided by what is needed to be done and not based on the likes and dislikes of the habits.
True freedom, it seems, is freedom from habits.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Sadhana for the rest of the life
"Dispense with words. Turn the attention towards the organism."
"Discover what it means to have a real connection with the body."
" Discover what it means when the call to Work comes from somewhere other than the intelligence of the intellect."
"Discover what it means to have a real connection with the body."
" Discover what it means when the call to Work comes from somewhere other than the intelligence of the intellect."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Oasis
Its been 6 days. There is a lightness. The breath flows in and out of both nostrils freely. As though at the top of the head is a hole that allows air to flow in and out freely.
There is a lightness. I am not carrying on my shoulder the constant ache of sexual desire. And when that weight is removed suddenly I am light.
Nothing else has changed. But this is grace. This lightness. There is no effort. Everything can be done in me as need be done.
Faint fears of knowing one day this could go away. But right now none.
This is a taste.
If this is a record that is ever going to be read by any searcher...remember, all the effort and hard work and sacrifice is worth this moment.
There is a lightness. I am not carrying on my shoulder the constant ache of sexual desire. And when that weight is removed suddenly I am light.
Nothing else has changed. But this is grace. This lightness. There is no effort. Everything can be done in me as need be done.
Faint fears of knowing one day this could go away. But right now none.
This is a taste.
If this is a record that is ever going to be read by any searcher...remember, all the effort and hard work and sacrifice is worth this moment.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Do your work
Harish..
You have got much. Now dont be lazy.
You have got on to something big after years of struggle and sacrifice.
Dont let go. Work harder. Listen. Just listen.
You have got much. Now dont be lazy.
You have got on to something big after years of struggle and sacrifice.
Dont let go. Work harder. Listen. Just listen.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Feeling the I in different parts of the b.ody
Interesting exercise. To feel the "I" in the hands..or the feet or the face..
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Insights on the Work
The Body is always in the Present Moment.
How to work well? Especially exercises that one cannot do even repeatedly? Its about egotism. We should not do this Work for personal benefit. We need to do it for our parents, and the people around us and for the people in the world. Its about duty now and not about personal search or about whether its fun or not. I have this physical body at my disposal to purify and make transparent so that the energy can flow down and help.." may Thine be on earth as it is in Heaven".
How to work well? Especially exercises that one cannot do even repeatedly? Its about egotism. We should not do this Work for personal benefit. We need to do it for our parents, and the people around us and for the people in the world. Its about duty now and not about personal search or about whether its fun or not. I have this physical body at my disposal to purify and make transparent so that the energy can flow down and help.." may Thine be on earth as it is in Heaven".
Sunday, February 22, 2009
work period 2009
Work period 2009
The Gurdjieff Work is something else. It is not about “my” search. It is about creating a live pool of consciousness from which will incubate newer searchers and a cumulative pool of consciousness created out of the combined Work of everyone in the pool. This pool is the food for all and with this food, more efforts.
This work period one understood the beginnings of the word 'responsibility'. To be a Senior in the Work. To be responsible means “to respond” not react. To everything. To everyone. And the first step towards that is to listen. To everything. To everyone.
So what is my responsibility? In the Work, to keep it alive. To have searchers at all levels so that the current flows without any break, at any level. And to Work myself. Ceaselessly. Because the domino effect of one person working is unbelievable. One person gives energy to the pool that energizes everyone else's effort and when everyone Works, the surge in the pool is a huge multiple of that single drop that a single person contributed.
How do I Work Intelligently?
I need to develop the sensitivity to what is needed right now. To what needs to be served right now. So that the energy that wishes to evolve will not return disappointed.
I need to Listen. Learn that language of the voice of the energy behind the words. Of the wish of the energy behind the sensations. Of the fervour of the energy behind the racing thoughts. I need to keep Working, till I find a true taste of the connection that Mme De Salzmann speaks about.
The Gurdjieff Work is something else. It is not about “my” search. It is about creating a live pool of consciousness from which will incubate newer searchers and a cumulative pool of consciousness created out of the combined Work of everyone in the pool. This pool is the food for all and with this food, more efforts.
This work period one understood the beginnings of the word 'responsibility'. To be a Senior in the Work. To be responsible means “to respond” not react. To everything. To everyone. And the first step towards that is to listen. To everything. To everyone.
So what is my responsibility? In the Work, to keep it alive. To have searchers at all levels so that the current flows without any break, at any level. And to Work myself. Ceaselessly. Because the domino effect of one person working is unbelievable. One person gives energy to the pool that energizes everyone else's effort and when everyone Works, the surge in the pool is a huge multiple of that single drop that a single person contributed.
How do I Work Intelligently?
I need to develop the sensitivity to what is needed right now. To what needs to be served right now. So that the energy that wishes to evolve will not return disappointed.
I need to Listen. Learn that language of the voice of the energy behind the words. Of the wish of the energy behind the sensations. Of the fervour of the energy behind the racing thoughts. I need to keep Working, till I find a true taste of the connection that Mme De Salzmann speaks about.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Paying gratitude to the breakthrough
There is such a freedom when the search now excludes search for the "I". Now there is the joy of just being aware. However this is a gift from nature. From universe.
I now need to convert these fleeting glimpses of just experiencing without the experiencer or the "i" into a constant practice of experiencing pure. Sensation of the body, sensation of the breathing, sensation of hurt, of hunger, of anger.
God give me ur support.
I now need to convert these fleeting glimpses of just experiencing without the experiencer or the "i" into a constant practice of experiencing pure. Sensation of the body, sensation of the breathing, sensation of hurt, of hunger, of anger.
God give me ur support.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Pulsations
When there is money in the bank or in the wallet, there is a constant steam of pulsation from that source. That provides ways for it to be spent. When there is a relationship - be it the boss, or girlfriend or wife or child or dog, there is a constant pulsing. There is the body that is constantly sending pulsations of its own needs. Everything stored sends pulsations so that action takes place and creates movement. As though nature is constantly pulsing and moving and creating. THe Awareness watches all this. How does the right action take place here? Is it the relative intensity of the pulsation? or something that guides? How can this guiding voice be found over the din of the mechanicality of habitual decision making?
Friday, January 30, 2009
The movement
It seems like a breakthrough. One needs to watch what is real. The sensation of the body is real. The sensation of the breathing is real. There is no I. Everything is an occurence. A phenomena that is experienced. Thoughts. Emotions. And when the I is removed then there is a shift that comes with the change in the vantage point. So 'I' dont breathe. 'I' dont eat. There is a sensation of taste and smell. There is a feeling of satisfaction. Body and mind follows its laws from the power of nature.
Friday, January 09, 2009
On birthday
How do i be more alive today? like i was the day i was born..! how do i know im alive..and know im alive..tomorrow..day after..day day after? i need to know i exist..i need to be present otherwise what is the point in having a movie ticket and not going for the show ?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Waiting
How does one have a complete sense of surrender? Leave everything to the Universe? Especially since people involved in certain situation are dependent on you? Your employees, family? When is waiting the right action?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Body and I
It appeared during the yoga class yesterday..and as I type now, that the body follows instructions from me. Its like driving a car. Since I dont see clearly the 'hand-off' point of the instructor (me) and the body's receiving of it in its 'receiving centre', I think Im the body. It seems to be a very subtle communication. There is something in the consciousness(me) that has a 'wire' into this body. It appears that Im the "Will" but the body can be disobedient and refuse compliance.That is when this difference gets blurred because "I" gets identified with the body. So long as the body is given instructions to do what 'it' likes, there seem no issue to separate "I" and 'the body'.
I need to continue to recognise and believe that Im not just the body only the driver of the car.
I need to continue to recognise and believe that Im not just the body only the driver of the car.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Notes on meeting with Prof Seshan in Bangalore
1. Again now, again now. Only present moment.
2. All events coming in my life is a way of universe communicating to me. If my response is right then the universe will communicate correctly and things will start changing.
3. I have to take responsibility for everything happening to me.
4. Discipline in everything. Eat half a stomach full always. Sex leave it to nature.
5. Attitude: Ah now I have relief that I don’t have to blame others for everything.
6. If one has a deep wish and will to be mindful always it will happen. That is the only thing required.
2. All events coming in my life is a way of universe communicating to me. If my response is right then the universe will communicate correctly and things will start changing.
3. I have to take responsibility for everything happening to me.
4. Discipline in everything. Eat half a stomach full always. Sex leave it to nature.
5. Attitude: Ah now I have relief that I don’t have to blame others for everything.
6. If one has a deep wish and will to be mindful always it will happen. That is the only thing required.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Lighter journey
The attitude to the search seems to be the key. How can i let this journey be natural..like the natural ripening of a fruit. let this happen. unbud.
how can "suffering" be approached from an attitude of joyousness instead of something very tragic and hinting of martyrdom? Nature made sex fun. No one would procreate if it was all hard work.
So there must be a way for the search to the way towards inner life to be fun..if indeed its in line with nature's plan of action..
how can "suffering" be approached from an attitude of joyousness instead of something very tragic and hinting of martyrdom? Nature made sex fun. No one would procreate if it was all hard work.
So there must be a way for the search to the way towards inner life to be fun..if indeed its in line with nature's plan of action..
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Bangalore Work Weekend
John said the theme is " as I am". So how is it going to be not in a 'work mode'? how is it that i can be as I am and yet keep an attention inside to watch these personalities at work? or see where the edges of my personalities as i am in real life and truly learn how to be 'as i am' in life but never consider internally? what are my roles in life ? what are the times when these roles contradict each other and thereby create a personality crisis if happened simultaneously? can see my masks of each roles?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
In-Out
"What we say aloud is my personality. What we say inward is our essence. Now can we say aloud what we say inward and say inward what we say aloud?" - Orage.
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