Chronicles of Saturn in the First House 11

Speaking the Truth (since now there is no H to be protected by the lies)
Operating through awareness directly - speaking, listening, sensation of the body while sitting, bathing eating, listening to outside sounds. Direct means there is only awarness and the body. THe "person" should be eliminated

It is a process post death - great help from the following reading that just came up to me. It was from  a paper submitted at the All and Everything conference.

" When I experience "waking up" there is a new dimension to what is seen, a sense of depth, awareness of being aware. We do not know ahead of time when we will wake up in a moment. That is certainly something unexpected creating a hole in the moment. Something new has appeared something that sees outside of Time, bringing with it new potential. Here is a true crossroad. There is danger in that moment. I can become identified with the experience of 'bring there' and fall back to sleep imaginging I am awake. 
I can take credit for my "progress" and exalt my spiritual attaintment thus unwittingly feeding the ego instead.
Or I can thank the Work and suffer consciously, the tension between the inner and the outer. The choice is to intentionally risk manifestation, or, suffer the manifestation in progress. I either case, I watch as it enteres the 'world' and wait to discover the results.
I feel reminded of Gurdjieff's statement" Only he can have his own initiative for perceptions and manifestations in whose common presences there has been formed, in an independant and intentional manner  the totality of factors necessary for the functioning of this third world "


I need to nurture this NOT allow manifestation of old personality and suffer its death throes till I am sure it is fully dead with no remnants.
My prayer to Lord Shani.

Another quote coming a few sentences later

" When I Remember Myself, when the experience of I AM appears awareness of awareness I find myself outside of linear time. There exist new possibilities not available a moment prior. I see in that moment that the Work  is not in the future of Time but is right here, right Now, at all times.

Just above me is a world out of Time where what I had hoped to find someday in the futrue, is waiting for me NOW.

I need to stay in the I AM - at all times. Live and rest in my Being - because all else is dead or imaginary .